


Jin's Bakery

by jjkimchi (orphan_account)



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Awkward Sexual Situations, Baker Kim Seokjin | Jin, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Park Jimin (BTS), Chef Kim Seokjin | Jin, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Cute Kim Taehyung | V, Dancer Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Dancer Kim Yugyeom, Drunken Confessions, Established Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Established Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Loves Kim Namjoon | RM, Everyone Loves Kim Seokjin | Jin, Fashion Designer Kim Taehyung | V, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Genius Kim Namjoon | RM, Healthy Relationships, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Jeon Jungkook Is a Brat, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Is Whipped, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Screaming, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin-centric, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Married Couple, Married Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Minor Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Multi, Mutual Pining, No Angst, No Smut, Oblivious Jeon Jungkook, Oblivious Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Oblivious Kim Taehyung | V, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, Sexual Harassment, Short, Short & Sweet, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, Sweet, Sweet Kim Namjoon | RM, Sweet Park Jimin (BTS), Tags Are Hard, Teacher Kim Namjoon | RM, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Jeon Jungkook, Top Kim Namjoon | RM, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, University Student Jeon Jungkook, University Student Kim Taehyung | V, University Student Park Jimin (BTS), namjin - Freeform, taekook, vkook, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-03-30 01:12:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jjkimchi
Summary: Jin owns a bakery where all of his friends' shit seems to happen.Secretly married Namjoon and Seokjin, pining Taehyung and Jungkook, secret identity Yoongi and Jimin, and 3 +1 Hoseok and Yugyeom.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Bookmark! Comment! Kudos!
> 
> Korean is my first language, but I'm fluent in English as well. That being said, I'm spelling all Korean words out phonetically for all English speakers. Please credit me and let me know if you put my work on a ficlist, listography, etc.

“Guh,” Seokjin groaned, putting his head down on the counter and closing his eyes. “Why did I stay up until four watching One Punch Man with you?”

“Because you're the best hyung ever,” Hoseok declared, lifting Jin’s forehead off the counter and propping his chin up on the dessert case. “Totally beat studying for the econ test I had today.”

“Hobi?”

“Yeah?”

“How have you stayed in college this long?”

“You know, I’m not quite sure,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. “It must be the patented mixture of espresso and Capri Sun I chug every morning.”

Jin gagged and smacked the back of Hoseok’s head. “I’m embarrassed to know you.”

“I could say the same about you,” Hoseok grumbled, rubbing the back of his head and starting to unstack chairs. “Go exfoliate. Wouldn’t want to run into Professor Namjoon looking ratchet- _would you stop hitting me this is abuse_ ,” he complained, ducking out of another hit.

“Sue me,” Jin replied easily, tying his apron around his waist. “I could fire you right now.”

“I love you so much, hyung,” Hoseok said in a sickly-sweet tone, unstacking the last of the chairs and starting to mop the floor. “Whatever. I’m good at my job. That’s why I’m main barista.”

“I made that title up to make you feel better about working here for fifty cents above minimum wage.”

“Pffft. We’re all losers in the end, wearing this uniform.”

“Hobi, we’ve gone over this-”

“Do you know how embarrassing this is?” Hoseok said furiously as he gestured down at the cardboard-textured oatmeal-colored apron and matching snapback he was currently sporting. “I look like a fool.”

“I’ve told you I’m asking Taehyung to redesign it from the previous owner’s hand me down design,” Jin groaned, pinning his name tag on his apron. “He’s just been busy lately.”

“Sure, Jan,” Hobi quipped, swishing the mop around. “About Professor-”

“Do you want to live to graduate, Hobi?”

“Not particularly, no. So, I notice it’s been about… two months since he’s come in, flirted with you, and left a blushing mess behind instead of the hardass bakery shop owner I know,” Hoseok said faux casually, steamrollering over Jin’s protests.

“Your point?” Jin said flatly.

“Grow a pair! Ask the man out. One, your sorry single ass is an entrepreneur. You own your own bakery. You have an entire college campus dedicated to your cooking. Two, you have a great face. Taehyung asks you to model his designs all the time. Obviously people must be attracted to you. Three, he’s already interested in you. Match made in heaven.” Hoseok ticked off points on his fingers as he went.

“I’m not asking out a guy whose last words to me were ‘if you were a phaser on Star Trek, you’d be set to stun’,” Jin said tiredly, perking up slightly as his phone pinged. “I’m going to the bathroom. Finish setting up and have a latte on me.”

Once in the bathroom, he pulled his phone out, smiling when he saw the sunny good morning text from Joon and fingering the wedding ring in his pocket. It really was a shame Jin had continued this ruse for so long; he’d grown oddly attached to the idea of pranking Hoseok for just a few days more.

It’d all started when Hoseok had been hired as a skinny freshman, majoring in dance and in need of some cash. Jin, already friends with Hoseok, had offered him the last open shift in his bakery. Fellow newbies Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin had immediately taken a liking to “Hobi-hyung,” and Jin found himself spending more and more time with the dancer, to the point where Hoseok felt comfortable asking Jin how to ask out a fellow dancer.

“Huh?” Jin had said blankly.

“Come on, hyung. Don’t you have a special someone? How did you get together?” Hoseok had pressed, looking eager. At that moment, Jin’s then-fiance (now husband) Namjoon had been walking in the bakery to surprise Jin, he’d tipped his chin up with one finger, winked, and said, “Oh, sweetheart. A pretty face like yours couldn’t possibly be single. Call me sometime.”

Jin remembered spluttering incoherently as Namjoon had flashed his dimples, ordered a soy latte, and blown a kiss to Jin as he walked out.

“Jin!” Hoseok had screeched. “You have an admirer?”

“Um. Yeah,” Jin, still in a daze, had replied, staring after the spot where Namjoon had been.

“Your admirer is _Kim Namjoon_?”

“Yes?”

“ _Kim Namjoon_ is flirting with you?” Hoseok had said in disbelief. “My _calculus professor_ is flirting with my _bakery boss_?”

“I suppose,” Jin had replied, shaking his head out of its daze. “Have I not mentioned him before?”

“No!” Hoseok had squawked. “Oh my gosh, I’m telling Taehyung.”

Taehyung had texted Jimin, Jimin had texted Jungkook, and now all three of them were obsessed with Jin’s relationship with Professor Namjoon, which went something like this: Jin opens bakery for day, Namjoon walks in at his lunch break, drops a terrible pick up line, Jin.exe stops functioning, Namjoon leaves until the next day. Rinse and repeat. It had become a running joke between Jin and Namjoon, who were in reality very married for two years and still just as smitten as the first time they met.

And now he was inviting Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok to his place for dinner. “Just a friends’ gathering,” he’d said casually, cackling inside as he thought of his friends’ faces when they saw his husband.

“JIN,” Hoseok yelled.

“WHAT,” Jin yelled back.

“HE’S EARLY TODAY!”

Jin nearly broke his ankles rushing out of the bathroom.

“Hey, baby,” Joon greeted, dimples coming out upon seeing his panting husband. Jin flushed furiously and looked away, pretending like he hadn’t just nearly tripped sprinting out of the bathroom.  
“Namjoon,” he greeted formally, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“Why so cold? Come on. Don’t you enjoy my pickup lines, honey?” Joon said, a pout on his face.  
“Get your coffee and get out,” Jin replied a beat too late. “Christ.”

 _“I ship it,”_ Hoseok whispered loudly.

“Jin is rather handsome, don’t you think, Mr. Jung?” Namjoon said cheerily, taking his coffee from Hoseok. “Remember your assignment on L’Hôpital’s rule is due in two days. See you later, princess,” he said to Jin, swishing his coat as he left.

“Wow,” Hoseok said, starstruck. “Wow.”

“He called me princess,” Jin said quietly, entire face red.

“Professor Namjoon is fucking smooth,” Hoseok remarked, grinning.  
-

“All right, let’s get started. Who wants to present their project first?”

Twenty seven students slid down in their seats at the same time as Professor Namjoon scanned the classroom.

“Come on. Volunteers? It only takes five minutes to present a project. I picked a relatively easy topic too.” He tapped his chin as he looked for the most unprepared student.

Taehyung gulped as Namjoon’s eyes landed on his desk, which was very much project less.

“How about you, Mr. Kim?”

“Uh,” Taehyung squeaked out, glancing around for something, anything to distract Professor Namjoon. His project was sort of in a giant block of Jello (things got a little crazy with Jimin yesterday) and he was very slightly panicking right now.

“Professor,” Jimin called out from across the classroom, diverting Namjoon’s attention. “I saw you at Jin’s Bakery yesterday. Whatever were you doing over there?”

“I like to keep my professional and personal lives apart, Mr. Park,” Namjoon said sternly, but with an edge of softness. Everyone knew he had a soft spot for Jin’s employees/friends. "Anyone else?"

“Boo!” Hoseok called from the back of the classroom. “The people want the truth!”

“Thank you for your input, Mr. Jung,” Namjoon said without looking up. “Still no.”

“Jin’s literally our boss, and he’s having us for dinner tonight,” Jungkook protested from the front row. “Why can’t you tell us?”

“I’m not Jin, Mr. Jeon,” Namjoon replied. “And since you’re so eager to talk, you can present first.”

“Fine,” Jungkook said sullenly. “I need to plug it in, though.”

“I asked for a simple diorama, Mr. Jeon,” Namjoon said confusedly.

“And I’ve made it a personal goal to rack up at least three thousand extra credit points before this semester ends so that I can skip every single assignment for the next year,” Jungkook responded smugly, whipping the sheet off of a car-sized cardboard box in the front of the classroom. “Behold!”

Namjoon put his head in his hands.

-

“Professor,” a student called from behind him as Namjoon walked to his car.

“Hello, Lisa,” Namjoon greeted. “If I remember correctly, it’s Friday, which means I should be headed home right now, yes?”

“I’ll make it quick,” she promised, shifting on her feet. “Um, so a lot of students noticed that you have a wedding ring on your hand.”

“That I do," Namjoon said, unlocking his car.

“Who are you married to, if you’re flirting with Jin? He’s single, right?”

“My husband knows about Jin. He rather enjoys our game, actually,” Namjoon said, smiling and rolling up the window. “He’s a real catch.”

Before Lisa could ask any more questions, Namjoon was in his car and pulling out of the lot.

Lisa stood there for a moment, brow furrowed as she thought.

Why had Namjoon said “our game?”

Could it be-

She shook her head, smiling at her own ridiculousness. Probably not. That would only happen in fanfiction.

-

“Jinnie,” Namjoon called, dropping his bag at the door and hanging his coat up.

“Kitchen,” Jin called.

Namjoon walked in, inhaling the scent of garlic and soy sauce. “Smells great,” he murmured in a tired voice, dropping his head on Jin’s shoulder.

“I know,” Jin said proudly, rubbing Namjoon’s hair. “Did Kook reach his goal?”

“I had to give him the points. The kid built an entire movie set, seemed like,” Namjoon groaned. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a diligent yet terrible student.”

“That brat,” Jin sighs, turning off the stove and untying his apron. “Well, I’m pretty much done. We have two whole hours before they come, so-”

“Nap,” Namjoon decided, dragging Jin to the couch and flopping down beside him.

“You’re so cute,” Jin cooed, squishing Namjoon’s cheeks. “Have I told you I love you?”

“Couldn’t hurts to hear it again, princess,” Namjoon said, laughing quietly.

“Yah! You caught me off guard this morning,” Jin snapped. “I was going to be all cool today and you ruined it.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon said, sounding very not sorry. “You look cute when you blush.”

“Mm.”

-

“It’s an hour before they come,” Jin announces. “Should I text them?”

“Do it,” Namjoon says, glasses on and grading papers.

“They’re going to freak out,” Jin says gleefully.

-

_**jin and the babies** _

**Jinnie** : everybody ready for dinner tonight??

 **Taetae** : yes!!! uwu

 **Taetae** : i’m bringing the greatest goddamn dessert any of you gays have ever seen

 **Jiminie** : it pales in comparison to my godly appetizer

 **Hobi** : yall bitches ain’t ready for the salad i’m unleashing tonight

 **Jungoo** : i got booze

 **Jiminie** : you’re still a baby kook

 **Jungoo** : i’m fucking 21

 **Jiminie** : moooom kook said a bad word

 **Jungoo** : talk to me when you’re above four feet

 **Jiminie** : i was born in busan first bitch

 **Jungoo** : no one cares thottius park

 **Jiminie** : THAT’S HYUNG TO YOU BRAT

 **Taetae** : this is highly entertaining

 **Hobi** : wait jin why did you text us

 **Mom** : oh just an fyi

 **Mom** : my husband’s going to be there

 **Taetae** : WHAT

**_Hobi, Taetae, Jiminie, and Jungkook are typing…_ **

-

“And now we wait,” Jin said, grinning as his phone started to ping frantically.

Namjoon grinned. “You’re so chaotic.”

-

“JIN,” Taehyung screeched, pressing the doorbell five more times for good measure. “JIN.”

“I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR I’LL MAKE THE MUSCLE BUNNY KICK- oh. Hi, Jin,” Jimin said defeatedly as Jin opened the door with apron on and eyebrow raised. “Jungkook, you don’t have to kick down the door.”

“Dang,” Jungkook said disappointedly, lowering his foot. “Anyway. SHOW US THE HUSBAND.”

“SHOW US THE HUS-BAND,” Taehyung and Jimin started chanting.

“Where do you hide your ring during work? How long have you been married? How does he feel about Joon flirting with you?” Hoseok asked rapid fire, seizing Jin’s hand and peering at the ring. “How much do you think this would sell for on the black market?”

“Um. That’s a lot of questions.” Jin searched for a subject change, eyes landing on the pan in Jimin’s hands. “Jimin, why don’t we set the appetizer out?”

“You guys are going to flip,” Jimin declared, tugging everyone along into the kitchen. “This is the pinnacle of human achievement.”

”IU is, but go off,” Jungkook said, passing plates to Taehyung as they set the table.

“I’d argue it’s sliced bread, but that’s somewhat cliche,” Namjoon said wryly, walking in the kitchen and wrapping his arms around Jin’s waist. “Hello, husband.”

Taehyung dropped a plate on the floor.

“Hello to you, husband,” Jin cooed, poking Namjoon’s dimples and turning around to face his friends.

Taehyung let out a strangled gurgle, clutching onto Jungkook’s hoodie sleeve. Jimin’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. Hoseok’s arms flailed around like an octopus as he stared at Jin’s and Namjoon’s matching gold bands.

“KIM. SEOK. JIN,” Jimin screeched. “WHAT THE FUCK.”

“I might actually pass out right now,” Taehyung announced. “Catch me, Kook-ah.”

“Fuck, I’m stupid.” Hoseok paused. “We’re stupid.”

“I’ll say,” Jin said. “I dropped so many hints. Honestly.”

“Were you enjoying our reactions every time Professor Namjoon came in the bakery?” Jungkook asked in disbelief.

“Immensely,” Jin replied, adding, “You can just call him Joon. We’re not in a classroom, Kook.”

”If it took me five months for me to stop calling Professor Joon ‘Professor Kim,’ I don’t think I’ll be calling him homie any time soon,” Hoseok said, rubbing his eyes. “This. Is. So. Weird.”

“And he’s your husband,” Jimin said slowly.

“He’s also right here,” Jin said amusedly.

“You really pranked us all for months, huh,” Jungkook said dazedly, Taehyung still in his arms.

“It was funny seeing your reactions,” Namjoon reassured, smiling. "Jin told me a lot about how you guys are outside the classroom."  
Jungkook stood there for a second, then sat down. “Fuck. I need a minute.”

“Love you,” Namjoon whispered in Jin’s ear amid the chaos (somehow Taehyung had already opened the wine and was ranting to himself about his stupidity between chugs). “And I’m glad I can kiss you in the open now.”

“I love you too, Joonie,” Jin laughed softly. “Though I will miss your terrible pickup lines.”

-

**iBighit University Online Social Board**

**Kim Taehyung** : _GUYS. >>joonieandjinnie.jpeg_

_56 comments, 78 reactions_

**Lalisa Manoban** : ASFLKDSHHHH I KNEW IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung might have a crush on Jungkook. Jungkook might have a crush on Taehyung. How do you confess to your best friend for over a decade, though? Enlist your crackhead friends to help, of course.
> 
> bleuafhgh I hate my writing

“Say I did...pale pink,” Taehyung suggested, fooling around on his iPad before holding up five swatches of color. “Jin would love me forever.”

“Rule of thumb in designing: don’t decide color first, Tae,” Jungkook reminded, reaching over the table to snatch Taehyung’s iPad. “Go for actual structure before anything, right?”

“Why are you like this,” Taehyung groaned, but he deleted the sketch and opened a new canvas.

“Professor Sejin said he would be forced to fail you if you went against ‘tried and true design etiquette’ again,” Jungkook said helplessly as Tae pouted at his blank screen. “His words, not mine.”

“You’re not even in Sejin’s class,” Taehyung said bitterly, but he was being petty at this point: Jungkook and Taehyung spent pretty much all of their time together, so their teachers knew that they could tell one and the other would know two seconds later.

“He’s lectured you about not following rules at least five times this semester.”

“Professor Sejin only lectures me because he’s salty I won his dumb hat design contest and ‘didn’t put any effort in’,” Taehyung grumbled, making air quotes.  
Taehyung’s fashion design class had held a project/contest for a unique/classic hat design (winner got their design made specially for them). Taehyung, getting the project rubric, stuffing it in his bag, and forgetting about it until the last moment, had panicked and submitted the first sketch he could find of a hat (or hat-like object, anyway). Obviously, his hasty design had been voted the winner, because Taehyung was a fashion designer god, if he did say so himself. A disgruntled Sejin had grunted and groaned at length before sending Taehyung’s winning design to the home-economics class to render it, and Taehyung relished in the steam that came out of the professor’s ears every time he wore the hat to class.

“Did you?”

“Well, no,” Taehyung admitted. “It was useless and mandatory for all fashion design students and I felt like pissing Sejin off.”

“It looks nice, though,” Jungkook said approvingly, reaching over the table to pull Taehyung’s plaid newsboy cap over his eyes.

“Yah! You brat, always disrespecting your elders,” Taehyung squawked indignantly, batting away Jungkook’s roaming hands.

“You love me,” Jungkook said playfully, reaching out to muss up Taehyung’s hair.

That was the first domino.

Love? Yes, of course Taehyung loved Jungkook as a friend. He’d always thought about it that way, because… that was just the way it had always been. They could probably read each other’s minds by now.

But in love with Jungkook? Somehow, the two phrases couldn’t connect in Taehyung’s mind. Of course Jungkook was handsome. Of course he could cook. Of course his thighs could probably bring half the college campus to their knees (Taehyung included). Of course he was obscenely helpful and nice to every person he knew. Of course he had made Taehyung blush more than once. Of course Taehyung wouldn’t mind getting a good dicking down from him and also maybe marrying him-

 _Holy shit,_ Taehyung thought. _I might be in love with Jeon Jungkook._

-

And then, in typical Taehyung fashion, he forgot about it for the next couple of days until the next Happy Little Gay Accident happened.  
Taehyung walked into the bakery to a typical sight nowadays: Jin butterfly kissing Namjoon as he handed him a latte and Hobi looking vaguely nauseous as he watched them.

“...And one more just because I love you,” Jin cooed, kissing Namjoon’s right dimple.

“Ah, well, now you need to kiss the other one, right?”

“If I must,” Jin groaned faux dramatically, dissolving into laughter.

 _Save me,_ Hobi mouthed furiously, jabbing a finger at the giggling couple. Taehyung looked around the empty bakery, shrugged, and inhaled loudly before-

“HELLO,” Taehyung yelled loudly, throwing his arms out. “IT’S A-ME. MARIO.”

Jin flinched back from Namjoon, rubbing his temples upon seeing Taehyung. “Ah. Just you.”

“I am _offended_ ,” Taehyung gasped, bringing a hand to his heart. “I have been _nothing_ but a good dongsaeng to you-”

“You give me a hernia just by looking at you,” Jin deadpanned. “Go to the stock room and help Kook out.”

“I wish you’d never told us you have a husband,” Hobi grumbled as he watched Namjoon walk out of the shop, Jin not-so-subtly eyeing his ass. “Now I have to put up with your romantic shit every shift.”

“Don’t curse, Mr. Jung,” Namjoon called from outside. “It’s uncouth.”

“You said fuck at least 30 times when you broke Jin’s favorite mug at dinner last night,” Hobi mumbled when he was sure Namjoon was out of earshot.

“Hobi, I love all my mugs, save for the now-broken mug Jimin got me that said ‘World’s Best Mom.’ I think Joonie did us all good when he broke it.”

Taehyung escaped to the stockroom to find Jungkook lugging a heavy box, biceps straining against his flannel shirt, which was something Taehyung and his fragile little gay heart did not need today. (He was pretty sure everyone could see the drool running from his mouth.)

So maybe Taehyung was harboring a tiny crush on Jungkook and after years, it was bubbling to the surface. Whatever. He’d probably get over it in like six months and they would laugh about Tae’s brief bout of gay insanity.

Maybe the chimp part of his brain just had some primal reaction to Jungkook’s muscles. _Big strong man is here. Nut._  
In any case, Taehyung was panicking internally at the thought of spending any time with Jungkook while this Situation was happening. Wasn’t there some kind of Gay Code? _Thou shalt not fall in love with your best friend since diapers._

“...Tae. Tae?” Jungkook said worriedly. Taehyung blinked to realize that Jungkook was staring into his eyes and _holy shit when did he get so tall and why are his eyes too pretty-shit, have I been staring?_

“I’m good,” Taehyung choked out, adjusting his ugly beige apron, giving a weak peace sign, and bolting out of the stockroom just before Jungkook reached up to put the box on a high shelf and his shirt rode up to reveal a chiseled V-line-

That was the second domino.

-

“This is getting ridiculous, Taetae,” Jimin grumbled affectionately, combing his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. “First you’re panicking over a hat, and now a shirt. Next you’ll be whining about his dick or something.”

“Jimbles,” Taehyung whined, rolling around from where his head was on Jimin’s lap. “There’s no way I could even begin to talk to him about this. He’s just so...mmm, you know?”

“Yes,” Jimin said, wrinkling his forehead at his platonic soulmate’s word choice. “Yes, I am very familiar with Jungkook’s ‘mmm.’”

“My what?” Jungkook asked cluelessly, walking up to the bench they’re seated on. Jimin noted that he was wearing his ripped jeans today with an especially large hole right where his thigh muscle is-

“Ah, I just remembered that I have to ask Sejin about something,” Taehyung blurted out, launching himself off the bench, eyes glued on Jungkook’s thighs. “Really urgent.”

“What? But I just got here,” Jungkook says blankly. “What is it about?”

“Noneofyourbusiness,” Taehyung rushed out before bolting. Jimin squinted after him. It almost looked like Taehyung was muttering “third domino” as he ran.  
Jimin swore he’d never seen the boy run before in his life like how he’s sprinting across the quad right now. It would almost be impressive if Taehyung weren’t being so pathetic about his feelings.

Jungkook turned to Jimin confusedly as Taehyung skittered off. “Did I make him mad?”

Jimin sighed internally. “Why would you make him mad? Have you done anything to him in the past couple of days that might have offended him?”

“...No?” Jungkook actually thought for a minute before answering.  
Jimin groaned, flicking Jungkook on the forehead. “You dumb brick. Nothing you do ever makes Tae mad. You could bring him a rotting frog and he’d keep it forever.”

Jungkook brightened up. “Would he want that?”

“Jeon Jungkook, if you bring Taehyung a rotting frog as an ‘apology,’ I will punt you into the sun,” Jimin threatened.

“Then what do I do?” Jungkook pouted, sinking down on the ground and staring at it intently.

Jimin took pity on Jungkook and his stupid Bambi eyes. “Go talk to Jin or Hoseok about how you feel. Maybe they can help.”

“Why not Namjoon?”

“He’d launch into a forty hour long philosophy session and bore you to death.”

-

“God, I don’t even know why he’s maybe pissed at me. Jimin said it would be impossible for Tae to get mad at me, but he’s been avoiding me and he hasn’t texted me in forever. I’m bored. I’m lonely too,” Jungkook finished, lifting his head after a thirty minute rant to look at Hoseok.

Hoseok stared at him for a long time before repeatedly slamming his own head into the table they were sitting at. “Jeon Jungkook, you might be the dumbest person I’ve ever met. Full offense intended.”

“Jimin said the same thing. No one’s telling me _why,_ though,” Jungkook said sullenly, picking at a spot on the table.

“You like him,” Hoseok said bluntly. “You miss him because you’re in love with him.”

“Love?” Jungkook said incredulously. “Ah, hyung, that’s a little far fetched, don’t you think?”

“Jeon Jungkook-”

“I’m really not comfortable with the amount of times my full name has been said today. I feel like you guys are becoming my mom.”

“We already were, but that’s irrelevant. Is Taehyung handsome?”

“Yes,” Jungkook said, like _duh_. “Anyone with eyes can see that.”

“Is Taehyung sweet?”

“Obviously.”

“Do you care about Taehyung?”

“Of course,” Jungkook said confidently. “We’ve been best friends for years.”

“Have you thought about Taehyung as more than just a friend?”

Jungkook paused. “Yes?” he said slowly. “I think so.”

Hoseok clapped his hands. _Finally, some progress with this dumb sack of nuts._ “Great! How do you think about him?”

“Sometimes I think about what he would look like as a bird?” Jungkook said cluelessly.

Hoseok screamed, long and loud.

-

Taehyung came stampeding into Jin’s bakery with his iPad in hand and his boxy smile on his face, slapping the iPad down in front of Jin with a triumphant “Finished!” to reveal his finished design-a pale cream beret with intricate rosy accents and a darker ivory apron with seven roses lining the top.

“Tae! This is amazing,” Jin said enthusiastically, picking up the iPad. “I love the redesigned hats and the color scheme.”

“Taehyungie! This is so good,” Hobi fanboyed, flapping his arms. “This beret looks so chic. You’re going to be so famous one day.”  
Taehyung preens a little under the praise, but says a bashful, “Thanks, hyungs.”

“I’ll order these uniforms as soon as I can. I’m so ready for a change from this bleh,” Jin said, gesturing down to his uniform. “How about we celebrate tonight? We can all have dinner out and then go to a club!”

Taehyung hesitated. “The last time I went out, I kind of froze one of my projects in a block of Jell-O with Jimin.”

“Ah. Joon told me about that,” Jin said knowingly. “He thought it was funny.”

“I didn’t!” Taehyung wails. “Jimin and I got drunk off of a bottle of red wine and Jimin was like ‘yo you know what would be funny as fuck’ and I was like ‘what bro’ and Jimin was like ‘play a prank on your sober self’ and I was like ‘oh shit that’s a great idea’ and so we went to the grocery store and bought some Jell-O and froze my diorama in there and then the next day my sober self opened the fridge and had a heart attack.”

Hobi stared at Taehyung for a long time. “Taetae?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you...like, okay?”

-

“Jungkook, what are you doing in my classroom? It’s past school hours.”

“Why aren’t you calling me Mr. Jeon?” Jungkook slurred, rubbing his eyes from his catnap. Even though Namjoon had been dragged into Jin’s friend group for a while now, it still felt weird to call his teacher by his name, despite the fact that Namjoon was just a couple of years older than Jungkook.

“Technically, we’re not teacher to student, we’re just friends right now,” Namjoon reasoned. “Now back to my first question.”

“It’s a free country. I sleep where I want.”

“Actually, South Korea is actually behind some Western countries in terms of freedom of speech, especially regarding polarizing opinions on Communism-” Namjoon began, holding up a finger.

“All right, all right. I was waiting for you and I fell asleep. I sort of came here for...love advice,” Jungkook muttered, staring down at the desk.

Namjoon’s eyebrows traveled up to his hairline.

“Look, I just figured that since you’re married to Jin-hyung, you must know something about romance, because Jin is the hardest boss ever and then he becomes a soppy mess around you, and I already tried talking to Jimin and Hobi-hyung and they both gave me weird cryptic advice and then then Hobi told me I liked Taehyung and I kept thinking about it and maybe I do, but I can’t talk to Taehyung about my problem because he is the problem, and Jin is working with Taehyung on the uniform change and he might accidentally tell Taehyung something so you’re the one I’m talking to, even though Jimin said you would be all weird and philosophical about this too. But I’m desperate right now and you’re available, so here we are,” Jungkook rambled, spreading his hands helplessly.

Namjoon sat in shocked silence for a minute before grumbling, “Glad to know I’m that far down on the list.”

“Are you going to help me or not?” Jungkook said demandingly.

“I mean, yeah, but what’s the problem? You liking Tae? I would think it’d be a relief that you finally realized that.”

“I-what? How did you know before me?” Jungkook looked at Namjoon like he was finally appreciating his 148 IQ.

“You and Taehyung have always looked at each other like Jin and I do,” Namjoon said simply. “It’s not hard to see.”

“I...have?”

“Jungkook, I’ll tell you something: I asked Jin to ask you all to dinner and then a club, not because I condone underage drinking-please drink responsibly tonight-but because I think that Taehyung and you could talk it out and finally communicate.”

“How do I even begin?” Jungkook mumbled. “Now that I know I like Taehyung, how do I know he likes me back?”

To his credit, Namjoon didn’t call Jungkook stupid or get frustrated like the rest of his friends. “If you don’t take your shot now, Kook, you’ll lose it forever,” was all he said before unceremoniously kicking Jungkook out so he could go home.

-

Taehyung ended up getting ready to go out with Jimin in their shared dorm room, which meant Jimin and Taehyung spent two hours bathing and waxing and then one and a half hours dressing and one and a half putting on makeup.

“Do my left eye, Chim. I can never get it even,” Taehyung called, holding out his eyeliner pencil.  
Jimin, dressed in a loose white shirt that exposed an almost criminal amount of collarbone and tight ripped jeans, came rushing out of the closet. “Coming, Taetae!”

Taehyung let out a wolf whistle, eyeing Jimin up and down. “Where’s my Christian Chimchim? I didn’t know you were bringing out Thottius Park tonight.”

“Ah, shut up,” Jimin mumbled, flicking him on the arm as he uncapped the pencil and carefully applied Taehyung’s eyeliner.

“Is this because you haven’t gotten laid in weeks?” Taehyung asked sneakily, tugging at Jimin’s collar.

“It’s been so long,” Jimin moaned dramatically.

“Mm,” Taehyung hummed sympathetically.

“Anyway, what’s up with your outfit? You’re looking like a fluff with the baggy shirt but fucking power bottom with the contacts and messy hair. Looking for a certain muscle bunny to notice you?”

“Mmmmmaybe,” Taehyung said/mumbled, throwing a pillow at Jimin.

Jimin caught it and set it to the side. “I’m proud of you, Taehyung.”

“...What?” Because of all the things Jiminie could have said, “proud of you” would not have been something Taehyung predicted.

“Because. Instead of just lumping around and complaining about how gay you are for Kook, you’re actually going the fuck out and getting that mans,” Jimin said with all seriousness.

“I’m not getting my mans. I’m hoping he comes to me,” Taehyung said, flopping down on his bed. “Jiminie, I’ve never felt like this about someone. I feel pretty stupid because it’s Jungkook, and I mean, I’ve known him for so long. I need to gay up.”

“Aw. You’ll slay him tonight,” Jimin reassured. “If he rejects you, _which he won’t if he values his life_ , we’ll watch Studio Ghibli and cry together, okay?”

“We do that every week regardless.”

“Shut the fuck up and appreciate me, Taetae.”

-

“I’M READY TO BE A BOSS ASS BITCH TONIGHT,” Hoseok whooped as he kicked open Jin’s door. “Hi, Namjoon.”

“Sometimes I wish I could switch you off,” Namjoon groaned from the couch. “You look nice, Hoseok.”

Hoseok twirled around in the living room. “Hell yeah I do. Where’s everybody else-”

“HYUNG,” Taehyung screeched, running out of the kitchen and launching himself at Hoseok. “You look _so good._ I might die of gay right now.”

“Me too, hoe. Look at you! Ready to get that dick tonight-”

“I’m right here,” Namjoon interjected.

“Sorry, professor. I’ll use more formal language.”

“Really? That’s a first-”

“Acquire that anus.”

Namjoon stared at Hoseok blankly before saying, “I wish I’d been aborted.”

“Hobi! Come here and set the table with me,” Jimin called from the living room. “I want to see your outfit.”

Judging from the screams of both Jin and Jimin and “HOBI YOU LOOK SO GOOD,” Taehyung decided they were occupied and started pacing in front of Namjoon, who had gone back to working on his laptop.

“Taehyung, if you need something, you can always ask,” he finally said wryly, making Taehyung jump a little.

“I’m fine,” he said defensively.

“Why are you wearing a hole in the floor, then?”

Taehyung was silent for a moment. “It’s a free-”

“It’s a free country. Of course. Is this about Jungkook?”

“Does having an IQ of 148 come with telepathy too?” Taehyung asked in awe.

“Yes. I’m psychic,” Namjoon deadpanned. “Anyway, tell me. I’m not going to bite.”

“I’m not going to spill my entire dumb life on you. I’m not that open.”

“Mm.”

“...”

“...”

“...So he was my friend and then a couple of weeks ago, he said “you love me” as a joke, and I’ve been obsessing over that and avoiding him and he was chasing after me until a couple of days ago, and now we’re both avoiding each other and I don’t know if I made him mad or what-”

“All right, all right,” Namjoon said, holding up his hands with a slightly panicked look. “My brain can only handle so much before it’s overloaded, Taehyung.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“I _really_ think you two need to talk before this gets out of hand,” Namjoon suggested. “Why don’t you try tonight?”

“I’ll try,” Taehyung muttered. “And-”  
He was interrupted by a knock on the door. “It’s open,” Namjoon called.

“Sorry I’m late,” Jungkook said breathlessly, banging open the door in a sweaty white shirt. “I had to help this old lady carry her groceries up and I was too weak to say no.”

Taehyung had to be living in a goddamn movie. In no real universe did Jeon Jungkook have the audacity to come into a room in a shirt that was slicked to his body with sweat and partially translucent and offer up a wholesome excuse like “helped a senior citizen.” No way. What had Taehyung done in a past life to deserve this?

“Get your fucking mans,” Jimin hissed, wiggling his eyebrows as he passed by Taehyung.

Taehyung swatted the back of Jimin’s head.

-

“Taetae.”

“Chimchim.”

“How many shots do you think you can take?”

“So many.”

“Both of you are shit-faced beyond reason,” Jin groaned from his perch next to Namjoon. Namjoon had opted to be designated driver, and Jin had been nursing one cup of seltzer water the entire night.

“Jiiiin,” Taehyung said loudly above the thumping music. “I love you _so much._ ”

“You’re the _best_ ,” Jimin said loudly.

“Shots to that,” Taehyung yelled.

Jungkook, seated beside Taehyung, gently took the shot from Taehyung’s hand, laughing a little at the pout on Taehyung’s mouth. “I’ve never seen you drink this much at one time, Taehyung.”

“Ah, Kook… you should have some too. It’s… fruity.” Taehyung giggled, leaning against Jungkook. “Fruity. Fruity. What a funny word.”

“Is there a reason you’re drinking so much tonight? Someone break up with you?” Jungkook teased, smiling. Taehyung just started laughing even harder, grasping Jungkook’s upper arm. “If only you knew, Kookie. If only you knew.”

“...What?”

“Shushhhh. It’s my secret to keep, Jungkook. I’ve got a secret and I might tell you if you keep looking at me like that, so I’mma go dance,” Taehyung announced, pushing out of his chair to make his way to Hoseok, who was locked in an intense dance battle with a snapback-clad guy.

Jungkook furrowed his brow, staring after him. “He’s got a secret?”

“Sober Tae’s probably screaming at Drunk Tae right now,” Jimin said, grunting as he hoisted himself up next to Jungkook.

“Aw, is hyung a little short for the stool?”

“I was born in Busan first, ingrate.”

“I moved to Seoul first.”

“...God, shut up.”

“You two have had this argument at least five times,” Namjoon said. “Jimin, why don’t you go dance with Tae?”

“I’m not dancing with Tae. He’s avoiding his problems,” Jimin said stubbornly. “No offense, Jungkook.”

“I’m a problem?” Jungkook said, crestfallen.

“No! I mean, to me you are. Not to Tae, though. Ugh. Whatever.” Jimin huffed. “Go talk to Taehyung.”

“Hm,” Jungkook said noncommittally, but he got up and started towards Taehyung.

“I’m so cool,” Jimin said to nobody, striking a pose in his stool. “Wingman +100.”  
A tap on his shoulder startled him out of his drunk daze, and he whirled around, ready to punch whatever asswipe-

...oh.

Hot.

(He could almost hear Taehyung screaming now.)

Jimin’s mouth dropped open as he unabashedly raked the guy up and down. Just a little bit taller than Jimin and slim but obviously fit, teal hair stuffed under a beanie, leather jacket over a loose white shirt, narrow feline eyes and pale...

Fuck. Jimin’s standards had officially been shattered.

“Hot,” Jimin said in a burst of confidence, reaching out to touch the guy’s face. “Holy shit.”

“You must be drunk out of your mind if you think that. Anyway, I was going to say you dropped your wallet,” Hot Stranger said with an edge of irritation, and how could even a voice be hot?  
Jimin stared at his mouth moving for an embarrassingly long time, missing the proffered wallet held out.

Hot Stranger raised an eyebrow when Jimin didn’t take his wallet right away, probably weirded out beyond belief, but rather than Jimin flushing and turning away like he would have when sober, he smirked at Hot Stranger, took his wallet by the tips of his fingers, and leaned in as close as he could. “Thanks.”

Jin sniffled against Namjoon’s shoulder as he watched Jimin flirting. “They grow up so fast.”

Namjoon made a sound of agreement, watching the two with something close to affection (although he would deny it if anybody asked later).

-

“Taehyung!” Jungkook called over the pounding bass in his ears, scanning the crowd for a boy with the personality of a three-year-old and the voice of a god. Couldn’t be that hard to find, right?  
Regardless, no sign of Tae.

“Taehyung, I really don’t want to do this,” Jungkook threatened.

Nothing.

Sigh.  
Jungkook cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling, “GUCCI SALE” as loud as he could.

Taehyung launched himself at and practically crashed into Jungkook, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s back and holding himself up like a koala. “Take me to the Gucci,” he commanded. “M’broke. Doesn’t matter. Love Gucci.”

No way could Jungkook talk seriously with Taehyung in this state.  
“All right, Tae. Why don’t we get you home now?”

“Home! Love home,” Taehyung declared, snuggling into Jungkook’s neck. “Mm. Warm Kookie. S’nice.”

 _Okay, then._ Jungkook hoisted Taehyung up, Taehyung giggling at the sudden jolt, and awkwardly walked over to Jin and Namjoon.

“I take it Taehyung got himself too drunk to properly talk?” Namjoon asked sympathetically.

“Yep,” Jungkook said dejectedly.

“Gonna have...headache. Tom’w,” Taehyung purred sleepily, nuzzling further into Jungkook’s shirt.

“Okay, Tae.”

“Kook, you’re sober, right?” Jin asked suddenly.

“Every time I tried to get a drink, Jimin descended on me and screamed “JUNGKOOK YOU’RE A TODDLER YOU CAN’T DRINK.” So yes. I’m sober.”

“Why don’t you take Jimin’s car and drive Tae back to the dorm? I’ll take Jimin and the rest of the boys back later.”

“Really, hyung? Oh my gosh, thank you so much,” Jungkook blabbered, hugging Jin tightly. “Are you sure Jimin won’t mind?”

“Something tells me he’s a little occupied right now,” Jin said, pointing at an inebriated Jimin flirting with a teal-haired guy who looked equally parts annoyed and attracted. “Might want to make your leave now.”

“Ah.”

-

“Please don’t throw up in Jimin’s car. He’s already going to kill me for stealing his car and I don’t need him to find out you vomited in the backseat too,” Jungkook pleaded, buckling Taehyung in. Taehyung had progressed from happy drunk to sleepy drunk, and now gave a tired mumble of affirmation before hugging the headrest and falling asleep.

“Great,” Jungkook muttered, starting the car.

He made it back to Taehyung’s dorm without incident (except when Taehyung let out the loudest snore when Jungkook was turning and it startled him so badly he thought the car got a flat). Taehyung managed to come to his senses long enough to drink a glass of water, then let Jungkook lead him to bed.

“Thanks, Kook-ah,” Taehyung mumbled, pulling Jungkook down for a hug once he was in bed. “You’re...nice.”

Jungkook smiled vaguely, then turned around to leave when a loud “wait” stopped him in his tracks.

“I have to tell you something. Come here for a second?” Taehyung pleaded, widening his eyes and making grabby hands. Jungkook sighed, because was he a whipped man or what?  
“Okay.”

And then he wasn’t quite sure who initiated what happened next, all he knew was one second he was walking over and the next Taehyung was kissing him and he was kissing Taehyung back.

Taehyung’s arms twined around his neck, pulling him closer. Almost on instinct, Jungkook’s hands went to Taehyung’s soft hair, running his fingers through it.  
One thing was going through Jungkook’s mind right now and it was _Taehyung is a fucking nice kisser_.

And then it was over, Taehyung pulled away, lips shiny and swollen, smiled sleepily, and fell asleep.

So now Jungkook was on the floor outside Taehyung's bedroom , deep in the throes of Gay Panic, because how else were you supposed to react when your Best Friend/Maybe Secret Crush You’ve Been Pining Over and Avoiding kisses you (when drunk, no less)?

He got up after a couple of minutes, heading to the ratty couch he’d crashed on a thousand times. They were going to have a lot to talk about in the morning, and he’d rather do it on a couple hours of sleep.

-

Taehyung was a blackout drunk, which was why when he woke up in his bed with a pounding headache and knowledge that the last time he’d gotten this piss drunk, he’d woken up in a convenience store with a Sharpie dick on his forehead, he immediately sat up, wincing in pain, and rushed out of his bedroom in a panic-

...to find Jungkook serenely cooking eggs on the tiny stove in the dorm. The whole scene, down to his fluffy bed head, was so painfully domestic that Taehyung stood there and just watched for a minute.

“Kook?” he said in a raspy voice, walking up to Jungkook but feeling a strange hesitancy. Jungkook tensed as he heard Taehyung, turning around and trying to smile. “G’ morning.”

“What happened last night? How’d I get home?”

“You don’t remember anything?” Jungkook asked a little frantically. “It’s all a blur?”

“No? You know me, Kook. It all comes back a couple minutes after I wake up.”

“Oh,” Jungkook said disappointedly, turning away. Taehyung was extremely confused now: what happened last night that caused Jungkook to treat him so coldly now?

“Jungkook-”

“Eat. We have to talk, and I’d prefer you not to be hangry,” Jungkook interrupted, holding out a plate and smiling, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Taehyung took exactly five bites before pushing the plate away, suddenly having lost his appetite. “What happened last night?”

Jungkook stared at him, and _can he not look at Taehyung with those giant eyes? Gay Panic Gay Panic Gay Panic-_ “Did you know you’re really cuddly when you’re drunk?”

“...yes? We’ve gotten drunk before, Jungkook.”

“Right. You got really drunk with Jimin-hyung yesterday at the club, and then you got lost in the crowd…” Jungkook waved his hand, trying to prompt Taehyung’s memory. “Is it coming back now?”

The car… driving with the windows down... sleeping… being carried in… hands tucking him in… cool sheets…kiss…

Kiss?

Shit.

“Shit,” Taehyung said, running his hands through his hair. _Shit_. “Shit.”

“Taehyung,” Jungkook said softly and confusedly, peering at Taehyung. “What are we?”

“Um,” Taehyung says articulately.

“You’ve been avoiding me for the past couple of weeks, and I have a feeling that you meant to get drunk last night. You haven’t texted me unless it’s to make an excuse to not hang out, and you run away whenever you see me at work,” Jungkook said, ticking off points on his fingers. “What are we, Taehyung?”

Taehyung let out a nervous laugh, opening and closing his mouth a few times.  
_Now or never, you Gay Disaster._ “So, um. See. I kind of had a gay crush on you. Like, a really big crush, borderline love. And I might have gone into Gay Panic mode and hid from you for a couple of weeks, and then you were at the club and you looked hot as shit and when I was drunk and you were tucking me in, you looked really...kissable,” Taehyung said lamely. “Um. Yes. So I didn’t hate you. Like, the opposite, actually. I really liked you. Like you, I mean.”

“...Like-like?”

“Like-like,” Taehyung confirmed, hiding his face in his hands. _Take me now, gods._

“Oh,” he heard Jungkook say, and then his face was being lifted from his palms and Jungkook was a breath away from him.

“Tae, I thought you hated me!”

“No! I could never. You could bring me a rotting frog and I would keep it forever. Please don’t do that, though,” Taehyung added quickly. Jungkook exhaled a laugh and leaned in.

“Tae?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too. In case I didn’t make it clear.”

“Like-like?” Taehyung teased.

“Yes, Taehyung, like-like.”

Taehyung let out a high-pitched squeak, hiding his face in his hands again. Jungkook laughed, taking Taehyung’s hands. “Tae?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Taehyung answered by leaning in and kissing Jungkook softly, smiling. And he completely forgot about his hangover or the fact he’s only wearing his giant hoodie and boxers. This was what he’d been waiting for: the sun shining on the two of them, and Jungkook with him.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung asked sleepily when they pull apart. Jungkook blinked owlishly at him. “Hm?”

“You want to go out, now that we’re in like-like territory?”

“Only if it’s with my like-like boyfriend.”

“And-”

And then they were interrupted by a loud banging on the door and Jimin’s voice screeching “WAKE UP TAETAE, I JUST HOOKED UP WITH A SEX GOD AND NEVER GOT HIS NUMBER SO NOW WE HAVE TO FIND HIM.”

A real mood-killer, but who cared when you finally had the boyfriend you’d been pining over for your whole life?

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hat


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Min Yoongi is the secret producer behind the hit movie Euphoria. He's also been stuck in a musical slump for months, proverbially speaking. At least until he meets Park Jimin.

“Nice hat,” Jungkook said to Taehyung as he walked behind the counter.

“Why, thank you,” Taehyung said coyly, adjusting the cream colored hat and preening under his boyfriend’s eyes. Their uniforms had just arrived yesterday and Taehyung was, as the designer, milking the credit for all it was worth. “It’s the height of fashion in Paris.”

Jungkook sighed dramatically, hand on forehead. “If only I could find the elusive designer of this fine hat!”

Taehyung gasped. “The world may never know the genius behind this.”

Jungkook smiled soppily at Taehyung. Taehyung smiled just as soppily back.

“Guys, I appreciate that you finally reached Stage PDA in your relationship, but I’m actually panicking over here,” Jimin said irritably, smacking Taehyung on the back of the head and ignoring Taehyung’s muttered _cockblock much?_. “How am I supposed to find Sex God if I didn’t even get his number?”

“Make a Lost and Found poster. ‘Park Jimin is on the lookout for a blue haired dude who likes vanilla ice cream and leather jackets, has a massive oppa and thigh kink-’” Jungkook started before Jimin slapped a hand over his mouth. “I told you those details in _confidence, asshole._ And we didn’t just hook up, we had a half-assed drunk date too. Also: his hair is teal, not blue. Learn the difference.”

“Chimchim?” Taehyung asked sweetly.

“Lord give me the patience,” Jimin sighed to the counter. “Yes, Taetae?”

“Where are all of your…souvenirs...from last night?”

“Fuck off.”

“On his thighs,” Jungkook said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Go away,” Jimin mumbled, unable to deny (there was a reason he wore long pants to work today).

“Jimin finally found a man who appreciates his thick thighs as much as us!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook.

Jimin muttered something unintelligible, flipping the bird at Taehyung and taking the walk of shame to restock the pastry display. “Fuck you guys.”

“Looks a little painful down there,” Jungkook called after him.

“Down on your level of maturity, maybe,” Jimin growled, resisting the urge to rub his sore ass.

“Prickly, prickly,” Jungkook mumbled, but before he could come up with another cretin plan to find Jimin’s one night stand, the breakfast crowd started flooding in and he was occupied until the end of his shift, which was when Jin came in and started squawking at Jimin about “using proper protection” and “testing for STIs” and “my baby is growing up so fast,” yadda yadda yadda.

-

“So say we’re all put on this Earth, but for no real purpose, just our creators fucking around,” Namjoon started. “That would mean there’s no real meaning to anything we do-”

“I was under the impression that any deep philosophical discussions before I’m fully awake would earn you a slap on the head,” Yoongi interrupted flatly, sipping his white chocolate mocha as threateningly as he could.

“Such a violent little man,” Namjoon said sadly. “What’s on your mind, Yoongles?”

“The imminent death of a certain gangly idiot head sitting in front of me.”

“Ouch.”  
They were sitting outside of the bakery, Jin working a solo shift while the others had classes. Yoongi, recent graduate and reclusive composer of a movie score that had brought him in a disgustingly large amount of money, was treating Namjoon to coffee, a rare thing in itself in the ten plus years they’d known each other (Yoongi was notoriously stingy).

“Anyway, I heard you got featured in a Billboard article. Your music is smashing the charts right now,” Namjoon said hastily, changing the subject before Yoongi actually smacked him in the head. “ _Who is Suga, the reclusive composer behind the hottest movie score of the year?_ ”

“That’s the actual headline? Fuck me,” Yoongi said in astonishment.

“That’s gay, Yoongs.”

“You’re gay.”

“No, you.”

“No, you.”

“No, you.”

“No, you.”

“Am I interrupting something?” Jin said cheerily, waltzing to their table with a plate of pastries in hand. “On the house for Joonie looking like a snack today.”

“He literally wears the same thing every day,” Yoongi pointed out.

“Keep this grumpy attitude up and I’m never telling you who your mystery man is, Yoongle Boongles,” Jin sang brightly, skipping back inside.

“Is just saying ‘Yoongi’ too hard for your idiotic pea brains to do?” Yoongi called a beat too late.

“Not when we see an opportunity, Yooti Frutti,” Namjoon said serenely.

“Why can’t you just spare me this torture and tell me who he is,” Yoongi whined, hitting his head on the table.

“What’s the fun in that?” Namjoon said. “You want your mystery man? Find him.”

-

Jimin was growing kind of desperate.

He hadn’t gotten laid in weeks. Somehow, all he could see when he looked at someone he might want was the blue haired guy, which was “sweet but also sort of weird,” according to Taehyung.  
He couldn’t even focus on _Grave of Fireflies_ , arguably the greatest Studio Ghibli movie ever made. He picked at a stray thread on the couch, eyes blinking tiredly. Taehyung had slapped him awake four times already.

Finally, Taehyung set the bowl of popcorn to the side, paused the movie, and stared at Jimin for a long while.  
“Jimin, do you need me to track this blue haired bitch down and eradicate him? Because I’m getting really worried for my platonic soul mate, who hasn’t been sleeping or eating well for weeks.”

“He has teal hair, first of all. And you don’t need to worry about me, Taetae,” Jimin reassured, cracking a smile. “I’m fine.”

“You want to watch something else?” Taehyung said worriedly. “Something happier? Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

“Sure,” Jimin said, if only to assuage Taehyung’s concern.  
A couple of movies later found the two sprawled out on the couch, Taehyung snoring against Jimin’s shoulder, Jimin staring at the blank screen of Tae’s iPad.

Wait.

The teal haired guy had had a iBighit university patch on his jacket when Jimin had last seen him. It was one of the few details that Jimin could recall from that night.

Jimin unlocked Taehyung’s iPad, opening up iBighit’s social network and typing out a quick post.  
Maybe this would help him find the teal haired guy.

-

**iBighit University Online Social Board**

**Park Jimin:** hey guys has anyone seen a teal haired guy around campus? leather jacket with a university patch, really pale, maybe with a beanie. if you recognize him, could you call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx? I had a school project to work on and I need his help. thanks in advance ^^

_This post is locked. You cannot comment or react, but you can message the author of this post about it!_

“JOON.”

 

“Hi, honey,” Namjoon said calmly once he had recovered from Jin screaming right in his ear.

“Don’t ‘hi, honey’ me. I need you to find out if Grumpy Cat is still on iBighit’s social board. Right now.”

“What?”

Jin sighed. “Open up the iBighit social.”

Namjoon, still disoriented, dutifully opened the site. The top post was, unsurprisingly, still the couples picture Taehyung had taken of them.

Only, there was one private post above it by Park Jimin, done yesterday at 1:02 a.m.

Namjoon kissed his teeth as he read the post. “I have an admin account, so I can’t access student profiles that I wasn’t already following for privacy reasons. I’m not sure how frequently school accounts are refreshed by Bighit. For all I know, Yoongs could still be on here and not even know it.”

“I hate myself, I deleted my account right after I graduated,” Jin groaned. “It’s fine. I hope he’s following Jimin, in any case. I’m tired of waiting.”

-

“So my fucking phone broke,” Yoongi said the next time he saw Namjoon, forgoing any greeting. “I was getting blown up by all these little twats from the university messaging me and I got pissed because my phone was going crazy, so I reached out to silence it and I knocked it off my nightstand.” He held up the mangled piece of glass as evidence. His hair was blond today, and he kept running his hands through it as he spoke.

“Unbelievable,” Namjoon agreed vaguely, screaming internally. Was this some twisted plot by the universe to draw out the getting-together of Min Yoongi and Park Jimin? Slow burn much? “And nice hair.”

“I’ll buy a new phone in like a week, it’s fine,” Yoongi said nonchalantly. “And I had to fulfill the trifecta: blond, skinny and rich.”

“Lady Gaga is trembling right now,” Namjoon deadpanned.

“She’d be disappointed to know that I’ve subsided on instant ramen for the past week.”

“You’ve got the funds of a billionaire and the mentality of a broke college student,” Namjoon said, stealing a pastry from Yoongi’s plate. “I can’t believe you.”

“Freeloader,” Yoongi grumbled, pulling his plate away. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Have fun, babe,” Namjoon called after him.  
Yoongi flipped him off.

And then right as the bathroom door closed behind him, none other than Park Jimin walked in the cafe, hair stuffed under a snapback.

“Namjoon, have you seen a teal-haired guy a little taller than me around campus? I made a post on iBighit, but no one who’s replied knows his name, only that they’ve seen him around, which really isn’t very helpful when you think about it. He’s really pale and has a gummy smile…”

“He does?” Namjoon said, baffled. Yoongi rarely smiled, and never around people he’d just met. He must be really whipped for Jimin.

“You know him?” Jimin said excitedly. “What’s his name?”

“Um, I might have seen him with you in the club, and then you guys left together, right?” Namjoon said, stalling. “Jimin, he’s sort of-”

“Joon, if I come back and see you’ve eaten all my food I paid good money for, you’re a dead man,” Yoongi called across the cafe as he came out of the bathroom.

“Oh, looks like you’re busy, hyung. Sorry, I’ll leave you be,” Jimin said sheepishly, rushing off.  
“Wait!” Namjoon called after Jimin, but he was already gone.

After Yoongi had counted the number of pastries on his plate and verified Namjoon wasn’t a thief, he jabbed a finger towards the door. “Who was that kid?”

Namjoon shrugged tiredly.

-

One of the first times they’d all had dinner together, someone (he couldn’t remember) had grown curious as to what their ideal man would be like.

“Namjoon,” Jin had said without hesitation, everybody laughing at the flustered noise Namjoon had emitted.

“Someone who would be my best friend too,” Hoseok had said.

“Ah, I don’t know, no one in particular, really,” Taehyung had laughed nervously, eyes darting to Jungkook.

“Someone with a good smile and laugh,” Jungkook said after a minute.

“Nobody well known, I don’t think. Someone who nobody knows,” Jimin had said thoughtfully. “I think they’d be the most interesting.”

Namjoon had immediately thought of Yoongi, who had gone through the motions of college without making a big splash on the campus, but was secretly into music production and spent hours in the studio. From the look in Jin’s eye, it was clear he had thought of it too. A perfect match.

So they arranged a blind date for the two, thinking it would all go well.

And then Yoongi had abruptly cancelled, citing an “urgent” emergency. Namjoon had brushed it off, simply texting a “u good bro” before going to watch some televised movie premiere with Jin.

Only the movie premiered, the credits rolled, and Namjoon, being too tired to pick up the remote, lazily watched names appear and disappear, slowly falling asleep until he saw four words appear.

_Score composed by: Suga._

That woke him up.

So he snuck in Yoongi’s studio and hunted around on his laptop until he found what he was looking for: the decomposed score for the wildly popular movie _Euphoria_ , composed by Suga.  
Otherwise known as Min Yoongi, who had unsuccessfully lobbied to change his name to Suga in high school.  
A couple of days later, Yoongi told him about the movie score and Namjoon pretended to act surprised, heart sinking down, Jimin’s words echoing in his mind.

Everybody knew who Suga was now. Jimin would never date him.

So Namjoon and Jin tried to put the disappointment out of their minds until a couple of months later, Namjoon looked over and saw Yoongi, obviously a little tipsy, talking to Jimin, who was very much drunk.

So maybe he was using Yoongi not knowing who his mystery man was as blackmail material (Yoongi was paying for Namjoon’s morning coffee for the next six months in a bargain to find out more details on Jimin).  
Jin and him were a little too fond of playing long term jokes on their friends (i.e. the entire secret marriage episode). So what? It was fun.

-

Yoongi flopped down on his ratty couch, opening his laptop up and recoiling at the 140,503 unread emails in his inbox.

 _Not today, Satan,_ he thought, opening up Instagram and seeing that his professional, created-for-the-movie account had gained 3,003 followers in two hours.

Not bad.

Namjoon had seen the check Yoongi had received for _Euphoria_ and freaked out because “wow, Yoongs, that’s a fuck ton of money and you’ve literally been broke for all of college.” So while Yoongi could have easily bought a penthouse on some foamy island far, far away from other humans and lived like a hermit for the rest of his life, he opted to learn How to Manage his Money, taught by none other than Kim Namjoon, best friend and pain in the ass. So now he had a spendings and savings account, both with obscene amounts of money. The spending he understood, the savings he didn’t: what was there to save for? College was done. He’d plateaued.

“Life, Yoongs,” Namjoon had groaned, looking at Yoongi like he was dumb. “Life.”

Whatever.

This fuck ton of money also came with massive publicity, especially when the soundtrack to Euphoria was released on various music-streaming services and “Seesaw,” the quietly self-composed and produced Suga single, hit #1 on Spotify and iTunes. A little overwhelming for the destitute college graduate who’d only caught the attention of Euphoria directors by his underground mixtapes and luck.

So now everybody (now including Billboard, apparently) was dying to know who “Suga” was. Resulting in a meeting with sixteen “managers” who all wanted to cultivate a different image than Min Yoongi, the quiet, slightly outstanding producer. Everything scripted, and everything said for him.

Yoongi’s head spun the more he thought about it, and he closed his laptop. He hadn’t been able to create anything really good in the past few weeks anyway, not since going on a very drunk ice cream date with an orange-haired kid (????) and hooking up with him afterwards (???????????).  
So that was great.

Also, Namjoon and Jin were taking horrible glee in finally having an advantage over Yoongi by knowing the orange-haired kid and refusing to tell him who it was.

Yoongi could only remember bits and pieces: a smile that turned his eyes into puffs, a billowy white shirt, and picking up a yellow wallet with some sort of dog on it, handing it to him.

Thinking too much about that night made his head hurt. Yoongi picked his leather jacket off the floor and shrugged it on.  
Time to go spend another fruitless night at the studio, he supposed. Nothing better to do.

-

“Jungkook!”

Jungkook was sinking into the plush fuzziness of dreamland, head resting against something soft and warm. Everything had a milky quality and his legs were weighted down not unpleasantly…

“Jungkook!”

And someone’s deep voice was focused on sabotaging his nap.

“Jungkook!” Taehyung said frantically. The soft and warm headrest shifted slightly. Jungkook opened one eye blearily. Oh. Taehyung’s thigh. Taehyung’s dorm. His head on Taehyung’s thigh. “Whuh?”

“Jungkook, I lost my hat!”

Now Jungkook sat up straight. Taehyung loved that hat like his own son and professed it whenever he could. “The Sejin hat?”

“Yeeeees,” Taehyung wailed. “I loved that hat like my own son.”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry, we’ll find it,” Jungkook said comfortingly, pulling his distraught boyfriend into a hug. “Let’s retrace our steps, okay?”

“Okay,” Taehyung sniffled, wiping his eyes and getting up. Jungkook followed dutifully behind, rubbing his eyes.

So much for a peaceful night.

-

**jin and the babies**

**Taetae** : I LOST MY HAT

 **Mom** : YOUR SEJIN HAT???

 **Jiminie** : OH MY GOSH

 **Taetae** : on a happier note kookie is helping me find it :]

 **Jungoo** : sup

 **Taetae** : kookah <3

 **Hobi** : do you have to do pda right in front of the sad single sprite

 **Taetae** : no but it’s fun

 **Mom** : Chaotic Good

 **Jiminie** : taetae i’ll look around campus i’m walking from the science building

 **Jiminie** : shit my phone’s at 3% rip

 **Hobi** : i’ll look in the computer lab

 **Mom** : i’ll look in the cafe

 **Taetae** : thank you uwu

 **Hobi** : aw no problem taetae

 **Mom** : it’s the least i can do ^^

 **Taetae** : i just got a big kiss from jungkookie :D

 **Taetae** : shit *uwu* i *uwu* can’t *uwu* contain *uwu* my *uwu* uwus they’re spilling all over the place *uwu*

 **Jungoo** : you’re so cute

 **Taetae** : asflksjadsk

 **Taetae** : jimin i’m so gay

 **Taetae** : ...jiminie?

 **Taetae** : where u at boi

 **Taetae** : hm i guess his phone died

-

Jimin groaned as his phone screen blinked and went black.

“Great,” he mumbled, walking quicker along the darkened campus path. Good thing there wasn’t anybody threatening out here, just one guy in all black walking from the opposite direction.  
_Might as well keep an eye out for Taetae’s hat,_ he thought, walking faster.

And then it was right under his nose. Literally.

Jimin let out a grunt of pain as he sprawled out on the pavement, Taehyung’s hat lying innocuously a few feet away from him. His phone cracked out of his hand onto the ground, bouncing onto the grass.

“This is all your fault,” he accused the hat.

The hat did not reply.

“Um,” said a voice above him. Jimin looked up.

Of course the darkly dressed guy had to witness that. Thanks a lot, universe.

Jimin sat up slowly. “I just tripped over a hat,” he said in astonishment, and maybe it’s the shock in his voice or the absolute absurdity of his situation, (he tripped. Over a hat.) but the guy busted out laughing.  
It’s not mean laughter, though, more good natured, like they’re sharing a secret. Jimin likes the instant tug he feels towards this guy, the odd familiarity he feels with him.

Jimin huffed out a tired laugh, letting himself be helped up by the guy, whose face is still partially hidden under a wide brimmed hat. “Thanks.”

The guy froze as he got a good look at Jimin’s face, mouth opening slightly.

“...Kumquat?”

Jimin frowned. Where had he heard that nickname before?  
Granted, he was very drunk and also in a haze, but he remembered a familiar voice calling him that and brushing his hair out of his face...

He was reaching out and tugging the hat off of the guy’s face before he could stop himself.

“You’re blond now,” Jimin said in an oddly stuttery voice.

“And you have pink hair,” now-blond-haired guy said back, raising an eyebrow. “It looks nice. Guess I can’t call you Kumquat anymore.”

“It’s Jimin,” Jimin blurted out. “Park Jimin.”

“Yoongi, Min Yoongi,” Min Yoongi said in a terrible James Bond impression.

“I can’t believe you go to this university and I missed you,” Jimin said confusedly. “I feel really stupid.”

“I’m a recent graduate. I just use the recording studio on campus because they’ve got better equipment than my shitty apartment,” Yoongi explained. How was he being so calm about this?

“Oh,” Jimin said. And then: _“Oh my god you saw me naked. WE HAD SEX.”_

“I enjoyed it,” Yoongi said nonchalantly. “It spiced up my night.”

For some reason, maybe it was the late night or his dead phone, or the complete casualness of this guy, that sentence was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. Jimin started laughing until he had to sit down on the ground again. Yoongi sat down beside him, not caring that they were both sitting in the middle of a walkway under a streetlight, where anybody could see them. “Jimin?”

“Yeah?”

“If it’s not too forward, I was wondering if-”

“I literally sucked your dick. There is no ‘too forward’ now,” Jimin snorted, instantly regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. Yoongi was probably wondering if he was clinically insane-

But Yoongi just grinned widely, showing gum. “Well, in that case, would you like to come to the recording studio with me? That is, if you’re not busy right now. I know it’s really late-”

“I’d love to,” Jimin said enthusiastically, picking up his backpack, phone, and Tae’s hat. “I’m not busy. At all. Completely free. Nothing going on.”

“Great!” Yoongi said, smiling again (wow was he cute) and standing up, extending a hand to Jimin. “Let’s go.”

-

Yoongi, as it turned out, just wanted Jimin to stay next to him.

“Your face reminds me of a song,” he’d said casually, as if his words hadn’t just reduced Jimin to a blushing puddle. “I want to make it.”

So now Yoongi was messing around on his laptop, mumbling to himself. Somewhere during the night, his hand had found Jimin’s, and occasionally he would rub his thumb absentmindedly over Jimin’s palm.  
It was odd: any other person laughing at Jimin, talking so nonchalantly about a hookup and asking him to a recording studio would have supremely creeped him out, but Yoongi’s calm voice and smile made him feel safer whenever he was close to him.

“You’re very shy sober,” Yoongi said suddenly. Jimin, looking at their conjoined hands, jumped a little at his voice. “I guess,” he said sheepishly. “Drunk me is way bolder.”

“Don’t worry, I like both sides of you,” Yoongi said simply, going back to his laptop. Jimin blinked, because unlike any other boyfriend he’d had, Yoongi said compliments as if they’re facts. _Of course you’re cute. Look it up; it’s right there under Park Jimin._

Woah, was he comparing Min Yoongi to his past boyfriends already? That was pretty fast, feelings.

“Something’s missing,” Yoongi said after a while, running a hand through his hair. Jimin peered at his screen:

_**Serendipity. DEMO #1.** _

“Can I listen?” he asked tentatively.

“Sure, but it’s not that great yet,” Yoongi warned, gently slipping his headphones onto Jimin’s ears. “Oh, and these are the lyrics. I haven’t added them in yet.” He points to a block of text to the side of the screen. “Ready? I’ll play it.”

The first beat plays, and Jimin was already in love.  
He looked at the lyrics, poetic and flowing smoothly into each other, perfectly complementing the dreamlike, off beat drum and plaintive melody line. He’s mouthing along the lyrics before he’s aware, humming the melody by the second verse, and quietly singing by the refrain.

He missed Yoongi’s mouth and how it dropped open as he stared at Jimin.  
This was _exactly_ what this song had been missing. Yoongi felt his cheeks grow warm as he stared at Jimin peacefully singing along to the track, even adding his own runs and melodies in all the appropriate places.

The last notes petered out, and Jimin looked over at Yoongi, eyes sparkly and full of excitement. “Yoongi! This is so good!”

For the first time that whirlwind night, Yoongi was utterly speechless. Had he been a saint in a past life? What was this angel doing to his heart?

“Will-will you please come over if you have time as soon as possible?” He’s writing down his number on a Post-It and handing it to Jimin as quickly as he can. “I need you to record vocals for this track. You don’t have to, but your voice is so perfect, it’s exactly what I need for this song. No need to feel obligated-”

“Yoongi,” Jimin interrupted before Yoongi’s head could explode. “I would love to.”

“Call me when you’re available,” Yoongi said excitedly. “I can start any time. Except now, I guess.” He checks his watch. “I’m already late, gosh.”

“You’re leaving?” The words slipped out of Jimin’s mouth before he could stop them. He internally berated himself. God, why was he so clingy-

“I would want nothing more than to spend more time with you, but it’s morning and I’ve got a new phone to get and a best friend to beat up,” Yoongi explained, pointing to the pinkish sky outside.

“It’s fine,” Jimin said cheerily, cheeks flushing at the first part of that sentence. “I’m working a shift in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll see you around, Park Jiminie,” Yoongi called as he walked out.

And despite the fact that Taehyung was probably worried sick, he hadn’t slept all night, his phone was dead, and his ass was still sore from tripping over Tae’s hat, all Jimin could think about right now was Min Yoongi’s smile.

-

Taehyung pounced on Jimin as soon as Jimin opened the door, sobbing “JIMIN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD DON’T EVER WORRY ME LIKE THAT AGAIN IT’S A DANGEROUS WORLD FOR A SWEET GAY BOY LIKE YOU.”  
Jungkook eventually managed to pull Taehyung off Jimin, Jimin reassuring Taehyung that “really, he was fine, just tired” and “met up with someone” and “I have your hat, don’t worry.” Which prompted an hour long interrogation from both Taehyung and Jungkook about Min Yoongi that continued throughout their entire shift.

“What does his voice sound like?” Taehyung grilled, bagging a croissant for a half-asleep mom. “High? Low?”

“It’s calm. I don’t think he would yell a lot,” Jimin says, considering. “Maybe he growls.”

“That’s hot,” Jungkook and Taehyung said at the same time, high-fiving each other.

“Do you two ever think about the repercussions of your words,” Jimin said acidly. The bell above the door dinged as two more customers came in, joining the already-long line.

“Does he have a big dick?” Jungkook asked innocently, fishing bills out of the register. Jimin choked.

“I-what?”

“You should always remember dick size in case you want to fuck again,” Taehyung said, Jungkook nodding along.

“I hate you guys,” Jimin mumbled, turning away.

“This discussion is not over,” Taehyung called after Jimin as he fled to the stockroom.

“Can’t hear you over how loudly I’m ignoring you,” Jimin yelled back, relishing the two seconds of peace he was getting from the brats. The next three customers passed in a blur as the line shrank, and Jimin was half-asleep by the time the last two customers approached the counter.

“You look tired,” one of the customers commented. Jimin wasn’t in the mood for casual conversation, so he lifted his head to tell this guy off-

Oh. Yoongi.

“Yoongi! How did you find out where I work?” Jimin asked happily, suddenly much more awake. He flipped off a snickering Jungkook and Taehyung behind him.

“I bullied Joon into telling me,” Yoongi said, shrugging at a limping Namjoon beside him.

“Did you beat him up?” Jimin said worriedly. “You shouldn’t hurt people on purpose, Yoongi-”

Yoongi laughed. “No, he tripped over his own feet on our way here. What an idiot.”

“He filmed me falling down and sent it to Jin,” Namjoon grumbled. “I don’t know why I’m still best friends with him.”

“You two are...best friends?” Jimin repeated slowly.

Wow, he was dumb.

“Unfortunately,” Yoongi said.

“He was badgering me for details about you all the time,” Namjoon added. “He was desperate.”

“Go away,” Yoongi hissed.

“‘ _Joon, just tell me who he is, you egg,_ ’” Namjoon mimicked in a high pitched voice. “ _God, Joon, you’re so useless._ ’”  
Yoongi punched him in the arm.

Jimin cooed. “Yoongi! That’s so sweet!”

“You two did meet and immediately have sex, did you not?” Jungkook deadpanned from behind them.  
“Go make out with Taehyung in the stockroom,” Jimin retorted.

“Whatever you say, boss,” Taehyung said, saluting Jimin and dragging a smug-looking Jungkook out.

“Get out, Joon,” Yoongi ordered, turning to Jimin. “So my asshole of a best friend and his husband didn’t tell me or you anything because, per their words, they ‘wanted to let the relationship grow organically.’ So that was annoying as hell and I’m kicking Joon in the head later. Anyway, when’s your break?”

“Uh, five minutes?” Jimin answered. “Jin will be coming with Hobi to take over.”

“Great. I’ll see you then,” Yoongi said, reaching over to brush Jimin’s hair out of his face absentmindedly before leaving. “I’ve got something to ask you.”

Jimin had died and gone to heaven. That was the only explanation.

He sank down behind the counter once Yoongi was out of the bakery, letting out a high-pitched noise and burying his face in his hands. At this rate, he was going to self-combust before they even got past Flirting.

-

“A. Date,” Jimin said again into the phone, holding it away from his ear as Taehyung started screeching.

“Yes, I’m sure. I asked him five times. We’re watching a movie. Euphoria, I think? I’ve been wanting to watch it.”

“Of course I’m waxing, the fuck.”

“Why wouldn’t you be coming over to help me with my date outfit?”

“Like I care if Jungkook comes with you, you’re practically conjoined by now. I need a good Date Outfit stat. I’m gay panicking, Tae.”

-

“This,” Taehyung said, holding up a low-collared white shirt.

“But it doesn’t go with the jeans,” Jimin pointed out.

“Fuck,” Taehyung mumbled, throwing the shirt over his shoulder and going back in the closet. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“What about the striped shirt?” Jungkook suggested, pointing at an already-discarded shirt.

“Jungkook, baby, I love you so much, but you have no fashion sense at all,” Taehyung said sweetly, not even glancing at the shirt as he came out.

“Just try it,” Jungkook insisted. “With the varsity socks and sneakers.”

 

Jimin, although skeptical, trusted Jungkook, so he pulled the shirt over his head and turned around. “Well?”

Jungkook’s and Taehyung’s mouths dropped open.

“Jungkook, you’re a god,” Taehyung declared reverently, snapping his fingers. “Jimin, you’re wearing this outfit. No buts.”

-

“Are you sure he likes this jacket,” Yoongi asked for the fiftieth time.

“It was one of the things he mentioned about you when he asked, and he’s also gushed to Tae many times about how hot guys who wear leather jackets are,” Namjoon said for the fifty first time. “Yoongi, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m not nervous,” Yoongi said, running his hands through his hair. “I’m perfectly fine. Peachy.”

“Why are you messing up the two plus hours of work Jin spent on your hair, then?”

“It’s a free country-”

“Why is that everyone’s response anytime I ask them fucking anything?” Namjoon sighed. “Jimin loves you, in case that wasn’t already clear. He’d date you if you wore a fucking potato sack.”

“Joon, I’m going to tell him,” Yoongi blurted out.

“What?”

“I’m going to tell him I’m Suga.”

“Right away?”

“Might as well,” Yoongi said, trying to sound casual.

Of course Namjoon saw right through him. “I know Jimin would listen no matter what.”

Yoongi nodded.

-

Holy fuck, Yoongi was wearing his leather jacket. And his hair was messy. And he was walking towards Jimin.

“Hey,” Jimin said shakily. “Hi.”

“Hello again, Park Jiminie,” Yoongi said, smiling gummily. How was he not panicking like Jimin right now?

-

 _This boy’s got the thighs of a god,_ Yoongi thought. _I am so fucked._

-

“I got us tickets,” Jimin said after an awkward moment of silence. He was almost positive Yoongi was just staring at his legs by now. “I wasn’t sure if you, um-”

“Really? You paid for both tickets?” Yoongi asked in surprise. “I was just going to cover yours. Well, in that case, I’m buying snacks.”

-

Somewhere during the opening scenes, Jimin’s hand found Yoongi’s. It was warm and surprisingly soft, and Yoongi might have let out a girly squeal in his head.

Somewhere during the opening credits, Jimin leaned over and whispered, “Who’s the composer Suga? This music is amazing.”  
Yoongi shrugged, looking away and biting back a smile.

Jimin’s head was now resting on Yoongi’s shoulder, pink hair tickling Yoongi’s nostrils every time he moved. Not an unpleasant feeling. Their hands were still interlocked, popcorn long since finished.

Onscreen, the seven main characters all joined together for the last time in the film, the screen darkening around their silhouettes. The music swelled to its final chord, and credits started rolling. Jimin’s face was squished into Yoongi’s jacket now.

“This is such a good movie,” Jimin blubbered, smushing his face around. “What even. It’s so dramatic and soft.”

“I’m sure my expensive leather jacket is pretty soft too,” Yoongi said affectionately. “You liked the movie?”

“Yesss,” Jimin sniffled. “The ending killed me. But the music, Yoongi! Did you hear the soundtrack went to #1 on iTunes?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi shrugged. “Wasn’t that impressive.”

“Yoongi! How can you say that? Critics said it was one of the best parts of the entire movie.”

“Hm,” Yoongi hummed. Names were still rolling down the screen. “I suppose.”

“Yoongi-”

“Hey, watch,” Yoongi said suddenly, pointing at the screen.

“Huh? It’s just more credits, why…”

“Just watch,” Yoongi said tensely.

-

_Movie Soundtrack: Suga/Min Yoongi_

-

Jimin’s mouth dropped open.

-

“I always thought it was pretty stupid that no one ever bothered to just watch the full credits. My entire name was always up there,” Yoongi said casually, like he hadn’t just revealed that he was the genius composer behind Euphoria. Not like he’d practiced those lines in a mirror for six hours straight yesterday.

“I- I. Uh. Wow.”

Yoongi worried his lip in between his teeth.

“Uhh. I...Umm.”

Yoongi waited, hands starting to sweat. What if Jimin-

“ _I had sex with Suga,_ ” Jimin gasped out after a minute. “Oh my _god._ ”

“That’s your first reaction? Really?”

“I’m not disappointed,” Jimin says quickly, looking at Yoongi’s tense face. “I’m just kind of in disbelief right now. First I hook up with you and don’t even get your number, and then your phone breaks right as I post a description of you to the school, and then apparently that was you in the cafe with Joon I’m just realizing this and also you just told me you’re a genius composer behind the best movie I’ve ever watched.”

“Of course I’m a genius,” Yoongi said, like _obviously._

Jimin giggled, hugging Yoongi around the middle. “I’m glad you think so highly of yourself.”

The theater was mostly empty by now, and Jimin let out a sigh. “So, say we went back to my dorm and you gave me a goodbye kiss before scheduling our next date. As boyfriends, of course.”

“I’d say that sounds like a hella good idea,” Yoongi replied, getting up and taking Jimin’s hand in his.

“On one condition,” Jimin says abruptly.

“Anything.”

“No more crazy big secrets, Yoongi? I don’t think my heart could take it.”

Yoongi laughed as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, the sun beginning to set in rosy gold in front of them. “I promise.”

-

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS,” Taehyung hollered, making Jimin and Yoongi jump back from each other.

“Go away, Tae,” Jimin grumbled, wiping his mouth. Yoongi smirked at Jimin’s flushed face.

“‘Sup, bitches,” Jin called, opening the door and tying his apron around his waist. “And Yoongi.”

“When did you start calling Yoongi his real name?” Taehyung asked.

“Since me and Namjoon supposedly ‘attempted to thwart’ their relationship,” Jin sulked. “So now I’m legally forbidden to call Yoongi Meow Meow, Yoongle Boongles, Grandpa Yoongi, or any other variation of his name he deems stupid.”

“I think you’ll survive,” Yoongi said dryly. “Jimin, want to come to Genius Lab after work?”  
Yoongi’s massive stockpile of money had barely been chipped at when Jimin had met him, and it had turned out to be the perfect amount of money to open his very own (tiny) studio, cluttered with _Euphoria_ merchandise and pictures of Jimin. More often than not, Jimin could be found doing his homework with Yoongi, watching Yoongi make music, or cuddling with Yoongi, something their friends deemed “disgustingly romantic.” Taehyung and Jungkook had a bet going on how many surfaces the two had fucked on.

“You don’t even have to ask anymore, Yoonie,” Jimin cooed, ignoring Jin’s shout of outrage.

-

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Yoongi said, bustling around the studio to find his laptop, predictably under a pile of Polaroids of Jimin. “I finished it this morning, and I wanted you to be the first to hear it.”

Jimin watched an oddly frazzled Yoongi root around on his laptop, murmuring expletives as he searched. “Yoongi, what’s this about?”

Yoongi smiled as he found whatever he was looking for. “You’ll see.”

“Yoonie-”

“Just listen,” he said, sliding his headphones over Jimin’s ears.  
The familiar opening chords of Serendipity started.

Jimin’s hand went over his mouth, grinning stupidly as his voice filtered through the speakers.  
Serendipity, finally finished with his voice on top. The vocal runs he’d worked so hard to perfect shone through on the track, every beat ringing through clearly.

Jimin was just as in love as he was the first time Yoongi showed him the track. Every note reminds him of Yoongi’s smile, Yoongi’s soft voice, and Yoongi’s comforting presence, them sitting together and just enjoying each other’s presence.

The song finished with a fading out of his voice singing, and Jimin was lunging across his chair to kiss Yoongi before he knew it, smiling against his mouth.

Yoongi pulled away after a minute, grinning stupidly. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

Jimin shrugged. “I just love you a lot, that’s all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bookmark! Comment! Kudos!  
> If you don't have an Ao3 account and you want to comment, go [here](https://10minutemail.com/10MinuteMail/index.html) and use the free, secure email address provided.
> 
> I'm also writing a BTS Gang AU fic! You can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373050/chapters/46094857). Please show some love ;v;


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three times Hoseok and Yugyeom embarrass themselves in front of each other, and one time they actually talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4k of fluff and crack :]

“Fuck campus. Fuck university. Fuck the universe,” Hoseok said miserably, flopping down on his bed.

“It’s been two hours since you arrived,” Yoongi said flatly, reaching down to open the mini fridge and finding it already stuffed to the brim with Sprite. “Hoseok, what the _fuck._ ”

“I had to stockpile for the semester. I may never come out of this room,” Hoseok whined, watching Yoongi root around in the fridge. “Fuck class.”

“Oh, you’re going to class,” Yoongi said dangerously, fixing his glare on Hoseok and popping open a Coke. “I’ll drag you there myself if I have to.”

“Whyyyyyyy…”

“Because Jimin’s your roommate and I’ll be very cranky if I don’t get to have sex with him at least once a week,” Yoongi said, crushing the soda can in his hand and and tossing it into the trash can. “Two points.”

“Stop flexing your basketball skills,” Hoseok complained, turning over on his bed. “I only applied to Bighit because it had the best dance program in the country. I don’t get why I have to take actual classes. Where I have to study. And learn stuff.”

“Oh, how terrible to be able to receive a quality education.”

“Go away, rich college graduate.”

“Glad to see you two are getting along like always,” Jimin chirped, lugging a box of toiletries in the room.

“Like a house on fire,” Yoongi said flatly.

“Yoongi loves me so much,” Hoseok said happily, squishing Yoongi’s cheeks in between his hands.

“Do that again and I’ll kick your balls into your jugular.”

“Not like I haven’t had experience with a dick down my throat,” Hoseok replied breezily, sliding off his bed. “I think I’m going to go scare some freshmen. Later, losers.”

 _Thanks,_ Jimin mouthed to Hoseok, knowing full well he was leaving the two of them alone to make out. The door banged shut behind Hoseok’s finger salute.

“At least he’s out of the room,” Yoongi said, pulling the pillow over his face and knowing Jimin would be crawling onto the bed any second to pout and demand his boyfriend give him attention.

Sure enough, within a couple of seconds, Jimin was whipping the pillow off of Yoongi’s face and flopping down on top of his warm chest.  
“If you’re going to laze around all day, at least laze around while looking at me,” Jimin groused.

“There’s no one else I’d rather look at, baby,” Yoongi said sweetly, laughing as Jimin started flusteredly stuttering. He was leaning in for a kiss when the door banged open again, scaring both of them away from each other.

“Cockblocker,” Jimin sighed.

“You cannot seriously tell me you two are foregoing Hoseok’s senior orientation-and, might I remind you, your only opportunity to intimidate all of the lowerclassmen on campus- in favor of lazing around in Jimin’s dorm,” Taehyung groaned as he poked his head inside the room.

“If you must know, I’m going to give him the blowjob of his life in t-minus ten minutes,” Jimin said, flipping Taehyung off. “Translation: get out.”

“It’d better not get any further than that, because I’m coming back in twenty minutes to drag you both around campus with Hobi,” Taehyung threatened, but he retreated anyway, closing the door and locking it.

For good measure, he stuffed a sock on the knob.

-

Nineteen minutes and thirty four seconds later, Jimin and a (blissed out) Yoongi stumbled out of the dorm to find Taehyung impatiently bouncing on his toes with Hoseok and his boyfriend, Jungkook in tow.

“How’s your throat?” was all Taehyung commented, smiling innocently.

“Taehyung, you’re walking a little funny,” Jimin countered. “Care to inform the group what you were doing last night?” Behind him, Jungkook nearly tripped over his own feet.

“Don’t even act like I’m the bigger hoe here. You stayed on campus for the summer just to be closer to Yoongi and his dick.”

“Yoongi- _hyung_ ,” Yoongi said testily.

“More like Yoongi _oppa_ , am I right?” Taehyung continued, utterly unfazed by the Death Glares Yoongi was sending him. “That’s right. I know all of Jimin’s kinks and use this knowledge to blackmail him extensively.”

“You’re all filthy, filthy creatures,” Hoseok said pointedly as they stepped into the courtyard.  
Jimin was picking flowers to twine into Yoongi’s hair, but he stopped to roll his eyes. “Yoongi, do it.”

“Hoseok-” Yoongi started.  
It was Hoseok’s turn to send Yoongi a death glare. “Don’t even-”

“Hoseok has a massive kink for-”

“Hyung, I’ve choreographed for you, please, I’ll-”

“More like I’ve made music for you to choreograph to, ungrateful,” Yoongi retorted, cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, “HOSEOK IS A ROPE BUNNY.”

Hoseok would have melted to the ground in peace to the soundtrack of Taehyung and Jungkook losing their shit if it hadn’t been for six guys who stopped across the courtyard at Yoongi’s scream.

“Kill me now,” he mumbled as an admittedly cute guy with messy brown hair from the group looked over at him with a slightly freaked-out expression.

Jungkook, being the bratty little kid he was, didn’t miss Hoseok deliberately glancing away from the brown-haired kid, and immediately started hooting like a clown on speed. “HOSEOK’S GOT A CRUSHHHHHHH.”

“Shut up, sophomore,” Hoseok growled, stalking off and trying to ignore his cackling friends behind him.

-

“Hear that? He has a crush already,” Yugyeom said dejectedly.

“Dumb nuts,” Jinyoung grunted.

“What?”

“Dumb. Nuts. So what if he likes someone else? You’re transferring to dance this year. You’ll knock his socks off. And the positive is that you now know his name-Hoseok-and one of his kinks-rope bunny,” Jinyoung said, counting off points on his fingers. “Meant to be.”

“It’s been four months and he hasn’t said a single word to me,” Yugyeom mumbled.

“It’s been four months and you haven’t mustered up the courage to say a single word to him,” Jackson said.

“So? You haven’t even been able to talk to that quiet guy you’ve been whipped for for, what, four months in front of Professor Namjoon’s classroom,” Yugyeom retorted.

“This is about you, not me,” Jackson said hastily, waving his hands around. “It’s okay. Classes start in two days. You’ll see him every day of college.”

“Not sure if that’s a curse or a blessing,” Yugyeom said, lying down on the grass. “On the one hand, I get to see him dancing and possibly also sweating through his clothes, which is hot. On the other hand, if I stare at him for more than two seconds, my ovaries may explode.”

Everyone stared at him for a moment before JB spoke for the first time.  
“Yugyeom, you’re a guy. You don’t have ovaries.”

-  
2

“Death. Disease. Pestilence. Famine. And other horrible things upon you and your boyfriend,” Hoseok said as a greeting when Jungkook walked in the store with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Which one?”

“All of them. The cute guy probably thinks I’m a fucking crackhead and that I associate with fellow crackheads on the daily,” Hoseok groaned, pulling his beret over his ears. Jin was stomping around, doing a terrible traffic cop dance around the cafe with a mop and dropping off copious amounts of sweets for Namjoon, currently on lunch break. Which meant Hoseok had had plenty of time to stew at the counter alone, with his thoughts on his friends festering like a blister by the minute.

“Ouch, hyung,” Jungkook said in an affected tone, clutching his chest. “You wound me.”

“I’ve just potentially lost my potential future husband, and I am potentially depressed right now,” Hoseok said. “How do you think I feel?”

“I think you mean ‘how do I _potentially_ feel. And the answer to your question is: sad. I think you must be very sad.”

“That’s fucking right. I’m sad. I’m very sad,” Hoseok said empathetically. “Extremely sad.”

“How sad,” Jungkook said tonelessly.

“What’s making you sad, Jungkookie?” Jin shrieked, rushing over and engulfing Jungkook in a bone-crushing embrace. “Don’t be sad!”

“Nothing, just checking in with my dear hyung Hobi,” Jungkook simpered, blowing a kiss to Hoseok, disengaging himself from Jin, and sauntering out the door.

“Weasel,” Hoseok muttered, wiping down the counter forcefully.

-

“Of course you’d fit in with our friend group!” Jungkook reassured. “Everybody’s perfectly nice. They’ll love you.”  
Yugyeom raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t it take Professor Namjoon two months just to say something without everybody bowing at his feet?”

“It only took Yoongi hyung two days,” Jungkook shrugged, remembering the day Yoongi had finally assimilated with the rest of Jimin’s friends.

-

_“Do you like Jimin?” Taehyung asked suspiciously, leaning uncomfortably close to Yoongi’s face._

_“Yes,” Yoongi said, looking mildly offended that someone could doubt his love for Jimin. “Duh.”_

_“How much?”_

_“More than he likes me,” Yoongi wagered. “And he likes me a lot.”_

_“Good answer,” Taehyung conceded. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”_

_“Shouldn’t Jin or Joon be asking these questions?”_

_“As Chim’s platonic soulmate, I feel it’s my responsibility to validate you as his boyfriend. Rate sex with Jimin from 1 to 10.”_

_“200,” Yoongi answered instantly.  
Jimin flushed and buried his face in his jacket. “Guys, we’re in public.”_

_Taehyung bulldozed over Jimin’s protests. “What would you do if someone insulted Jimin or made him feel bad?”_

_Yoongi considered it for a moment before thoughtfully saying, “I don’t see how anyone could hate Jiminie.”_

_“Fuck, he’s smooth,” Taehyung remarked, sitting back on the table and sipping his espresso.  
And then, as if on cue, a group of guys approached them, and no one could miss the way Jimin and Taehyung stiffened in their seats. They were outdoors, and it wasn’t like they were about to get kidnapped, but with no one else outside of the chem building, there was no one to witness it either._

_“Hey, baby,” one of the guys greeted in a slick voice. “Been a minute since we’ve seen you sitting out here.”_

_Yoongi looked at Taehyung, whose eyes had gone wide as he looked around for an escape route. Jimin seemed to curl in on himself, smile completely gone and replaced with a look of recognition-and fear._

_“Go away,” Taehyung finally whispered, normally energetic baritone quiet and flat._

_“Aw, don’t be so scared,” another guy said predatorily. “Dressed up like that, you’re practically asking for it.”_

_“Stop,” Jimin croaked out faintly. The student only leered and fingered a strand of Jimin’s hair in between his fingertips._

_“What’s that? Going to have to speak up around us. In fact, I can take you both somewhere private and make you scream my name-”_

_“That’s enough,” Yoongi interrupted lazily, slouching against the wall and twirling his jacket zipper in his fingers. “Get away from them. They’re not your property.”_

_What cemented Yoongi’s hatred towards them (besides the fact that they were harassing his boyfriend and his best friend) was that the look the group sent towards him wasn’t one of surprise or even hate, just annoyance at being interrupted._

_The group eyed him up and down before deciding he wasn’t a threat, one student approaching him with a glare on his face. “Stay away, pretty boy, before someone gets hurt.”_

_“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I’ll have to decline,” Yoongi said, voice taking on a slight edge._

_“I’m going to give you three seconds to run,” the guy threatened, raising a fist. Jimin’s hand went to his mouth._

_“One…”_

_Yoongi rolled up his sleeves, eyes taking on a dangerous, dead glint._

_“Two…”_

_“Three,” Yoongi growled, easily catching the fist thrown at him and jerking it sharply to the left, the guy falling to the ground and mewling in pain. “Anyone else?”_

_Three more kids apparently thought it was a good idea to rush him, and they all met a similar fate to their friend. One was limping on one foot, one was holding his skull, and one was cupping his groin by the time Yoongi was finished._

_“Now that we’ve established I could easily beat any of your asses, any day, you’re all going to get up and walk away from my boyfriend and my friend,” Yoongi said lowly, rolling down his sleeves and kicking each person on the ground to their feet. “You’re going to make excuses for your injuries, and you’re not going to approach them or me again unless you want a broken jaw.”_

_The group stood frozen in front of him, all bravado gone._

_“Get out,” Yoongi said, voice already taking on its usual lazy drawl, and the group scattered._

_“Yoongi!” Namjoon called, running up the path, long coat fluttering behind him. “I saw what happened-are you okay? Nobody’s hurt, right?”_

_“Yoongi, don’t ever do that again,” Jin scolded, running a worried hand up and down Yoongi’s knuckles. “You could have gotten seriously messed up by those guys!”_

_“I’m fine,” Yoongi said, more for their benefit than his. “Check on Jimin and Tae.”_

_Jungkook arrived next, face contorted with worry, and spent a couple of minutes fawning over Jimin and the rest of the group before sitting down next to Taehyung and running a comforting hand through his hair._

_“GUYS. I just passed that group of guys that’ve been pushing me around for a couple of months, they were fucked up and I’d just like to say to whoever did that I owe you my entire life oh my gosh,” Hoseok announced as he came sprinting down the hill, face alight with glee._

_Yoongi raised an eyebrow dryly. “I don’t want your life.”_

_“Well, dang. Normally I’d take offense to that, but I’m too happy right now, so thanks, Yoongi hyung,” Hoseok sighed, patting Yoongi on the head and walking over to Taehyung, who was being fondled over by an adoring Jungkook._

_“Jiminie?” Yoongi ventured, walking over to him. “Are you okay?”_

_Jimin looked up at him, eyes wide. “Yoongi?”_

_“Yeah?” Yoongi asked a bit nervously._

_“I can’t remember quite right, but did you call Taehyung your ‘friend’ back there?”_

_“Oh,” Yoongi said dumbly. “I mean-it just slipped out-”_

_“Yoongi!” Jimin squealed, flapping his hands around. “I knew you’d fit in in no time.”_

_“Yoongi,” Taehyung said seriously, looking at him intently. Yoongi tilted his head, admittedly a little bit intimidated by Taehyung’s intent stare._

_“As much as I was scared in the moment,” here Taehyung paused, “that was fucking hot.”_

_Everybody started laughing at Taehyung’s words, the thick atmosphere finally dissolving._

-

“I don’t think anyone would attack Hoseok,” Yugyeom said. “He’s too nice.”

Jungkook shrugged. “My point stands. If my friends could make friends with Grandpa Yoongs, they’ll love you.”

“Jungkook!” Hoseok called, waving his hands across the street like a maniac, nearly spilling his soda can and tripping over his own feet as he ran across the crosswalk.

“Ohmygod,” Yugyeom rushed out, eyes going wide and patting down his hair. “Hoseok’shereandIhaven’twashedmyhairinthreedayshecan’tseemelikethisbyeJungkook.”

“What even,” Jungkook said, but Yugyeom was waving bye and running off before he could say anything else.

-

Hoseok shut off his phone, taking a sip of Sprite and fanning his shirt. Which deity deemed it appropriate to make winter obscenely cold and summer unbearably hot? Ever heard of moderation?

“Jungkook!” he called, seeing Jungkook sitting at a table with a guy in a beanie. Jungkook was locked in conversation with the other guy, so Hoseok flailed his arms around, running across the sidewalk. They both looked up at the precise moment Hoseok tripped over his own two feet and nearly dropped his can, the beanie guy flushing when he saw Hoseok, rushing something out at Jungkook, and making an escape.

Jungkook looked nonplussed as the guy ran away and hopped in a bush. “The things we do for love.”

“Who was that?” Hoseok asked, tossing Jungkook a banana milk and crushing his empty soda can in his hands.

“That’s Yugyeom. He’s one of the guys who witnessed us embarrassing you during orientation.”

“The cute one?”

“Yes, hyung, the cute one.”

“The cute one who just saw me tripping over nothing and almost dropping my soda can,” Hoseok said flatly, banging his head on the table. “No wonder he ran away. Jungkook, I’m a failure.”

“You’re not a failure. He was just as embarrassed to see you, is all,” Jungkook said awkwardly, patting Hoseok’s hair. “You kind of took us by surprise.”

“This is the second time I’ve made a fool out of myself. Once he gets past the fact that I’m Jung Hoseok, dance god of this campus, he’ll see me for the actual gay twat I am.”

“What even,” Jungkook said for the second time, because what even.

-

“What did you do this time,” Jaebum sighed when Yugyeom dramatically flung himself down on his bed.

“I hopped in a bush to avoid him,” Yugyeom said, slightly muffled because he was smashing his face in a pillow.

“This would be entertaining if you weren’t so pathetic,” Jinyoung said next to Jaebum.

_“Mean.”_

3

The third time Hoseok embarrassed himself in front of Yugyeom was coincidentally also the first time he spoke directly to him.

“He’s a big baby,” Jungkook reassured him as they walked to the dance studio. “His face can be kind of intimidating the first time you see him, but he’s nothing compared to Jinyoung.”

“Jinyoung?”

“The scariest mofo in Yug’s friend group. Jin and him would probably bond over being single moms to us.”

“Kook, if you’re shitting me, you won’t be able to walk for a week straight.”

“It’s true, someone really is as scary and mom-like as Jin.”

Jungkook opened the glass door to the studio to find hordes of freshmen stretching on the floor, all eyeing each other like the wide-eyed babies they were. Jimin was sighing as he fended off a group of particularly rabid fangirls.  
If everyone was on the floor right now, the locker room won’t be left in peace for long, something Hoseok and Jungkook both realized at the same time.

Hoseok looked at Jungkook.

Jungkook looked at Hoseok.

“Race you,” Jungkook said, hyena screaming as he ran to the locker room. The door slammed in Hoseok’s face, smashing his nose.

“Ow ow ow,” Hoseok grunted, holding a hand over his face as he entered the room. One day, he was going to castrate that little brat-

“Hoseok oppa!” twenty freshmen girls screamed as one, rushing him. Hoseok blinked, sending an accusing stare at Jimin, who shrugged sheepishly.

 _Sorry, had to,_ he mouthed, making his escape to the locker room behind Jungkook.

Hoseok rubbed his temples, wading through the sea of girls and boys, all clamoring to see the dance god of campus. “I hate my life,” he muttered.

“Hoseok-seonbae-”

“Whaaaaaat,” he groaned, thoroughly tired of everyone’s shit, turning around to see Yugyeom, the Cutest Boy on The Planet, dressed in the Naughtiest Outfit he’d ever seen (seriously, was God conspiring against him? A see-through shirt. Come on.)

“Oh my god is that ass even legal,” he blurted out before his common sense could stop him.

“...uh, thanks?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened as his brain caught up. “I… was talking to someone behind you. Um.”

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before Hoseok made a hasty exit to the practice rooms, cursing himself the entire way. Time to drown himself.

-

“So I’m going to drown myself,” Yugyeom announced to the entire group at lunch.

“Awesome,” Jinyoung said.  
“There are more flamboyant ways to die,” Jackson said, holding up a finger. “I suggest overdosing on Pop Rocks.”  
“Can I collect insurance?” Bambam asked.  
JB didn’t even respond, fixated on inhaling his salad like there was no tomorrow. Youngjae was the only one nice enough to ask, “Why?”

“Jung Hoseok, dance god, complimented someone’s ass behind me during our very first practice of the year and I, like a fool, _thanked_ him before I realized he was not looking at me and the outfit that Jackson and I painstakingly put together for when I saw him again. So I’m drowning myself. Goodbye.”

“Classic Yugyeom,” Bambam said affectionately. “Did you see him again during practice?”

“No. I bet he was weirded out by my stupidity and fled to an individual practice room.”

“Sad times these are,” Jinyoung said sympathetically. “Move to Ukraine.”

“What is your obsession with getting me to move to Ukraine?”

“It’s the farthest away place I can think of. Doesn’t the name Ukraine just stir feelings of spite within you? Strong, deep-seated annoyance that makes you want to slap a bitch?”

“I guess?”

“That’s how I feel about you.”

“Jinnnnnyoouuungggg,” Yugyeom whined. “Why are you so meeeeeeaaaannn.”

“This is the third time you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Hoseok-ssi. First you stared at him for twenty minutes straight before he even noticed you, then you literally ran away from him in plain sight, and now you accidentally accepted a compliment on someone else’s ass. Honestly, I’d be booking you that flight to Ukraine too,” Jackson offered. JB made a noise of agreement around a crouton.

Yugyeom put his head down on the table.

-  
+1

After much pep-talk and hype-up from Namjoon, Seokjin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and at one point, some random guy named Jackson who was “tired of seeing Yugs sulk for like five days gay-”

“Don’t you mean straight?”

“No, I mean gay. Yugyeom is very gay. In case you didn’t know. Super gay. The gayest.”

“...okay.”

-Hoseok decided to track Yugyeom down and clear everything up, and also maybe talk about that embarrassing kink that his friends exposed against his consent.

“You make it sound like I mugged you or something,” Yoongi said amusedly. “I just helped you jumpstart your relationship.”

“Yoongi, I love you very much and fear you way more, but no one on this green earth would ever say that yelling that your innocent friend is a rope bunny is a good relationship starter.”

“Mm,” Yoongi said doubtfully, heading into the Music building. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Burn in hell.”

“Hell is fueled by the flames of my mixtape!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes for the fortieth time in ten minutes.

“Hoseok-ssi!” someone called from behind him.  
Hoseok turned to see Yugyeom panting as he ran across the quad.

“H-hey, hi, Yugyeom. I was actually just looking for you. Not in a creepy way!” Hoseok quickly added. “I just wanted to talk. About an awkward encounter or three-”

“Oh me too are you free,” Yugyeom blurted out, blushing furiously. “Why am I so embarrassing. God. Shit.”

Hoseok blanked out for a minute as Yugyeom’s words sunk in.

Has… Yugyeom been just as embarrassed about the random and slightly stupid encounters they’ve been having too?

(Yeah, Hoseok may be stupid, but he’s not as thick-skulled as his oblivious friends. He knows when someone likes him, and he knows how to not act like a clown around people he may like. Most of the time.)

 _“I did not mean to say that,_ ” Yugyeom said, covering his face. “Fuck.”

Hoseok recovered from his stupor, laughing at Yugyeom’s cuteness. “Want to talk about it over coffee?”

Yugyeom lit up, and damn if that smile didn’t make him fifty times more attractive. “I’d love that.”

Hoseok bit his lip to keep from squealing right there, sufficing for just bouncing on his toes. Finally things were going his way, without his annoying friends interjecting.

“If…” Yugyeom starts, leaning closer to Hoseok.

“...Yeeess?” Holy fuck, is he going to kiss him? Did Hoseok brush his teeth this morning?

“... _If_ our friends are hiding in the bush behind us, I’m coming over there to smash any recording devices you may have in three, two…”

Muffled rustling and “shitshitshit”s came from the bush as eleven guys all burst out of the bush, Taehyung and Jackson lugging a camera between them as they all scampered off. Jin paused only to give Hoseok a thumbs up, Jungkook yelling “GET IT” as a farewell.

“I’m going to beat them up,” both boys said at the same time, laughing into their hands.

“How’d you know our friends were hiding in the bushes?”

“They always seem to be around me when I’m about to have a big life moment,” Yugyeom groaned, edging closer to Hoseok. “Such as you taking me out to that coffee shop. And maybe watching a disgusting Hallmark movie or ten afterwards.”

“Now we’re talking,” Hoseok crowed, twining their fingers together as they walked off.

 _Perfect fit_ , he thought to himself.

-

Bambam sighed dreamily, leaning his chin on his hands. “Love is a beautiful thing.”

“Truly beautiful,” Jin and Jinyoung said at the same time, high-fiving each other. As expected, the two had hit it off over being the mom-friends and also having buckets of savagery, and they’d already made five secret handshakes. Jaebum was recording the two’s conversation through a backup recorder he’d stowed in his pocket, and Jungkook was busily scrolling through romantic classical soundtracks to layer over the wedding film they were inevitably going to make, dubbed “YugSeok: the Saga” by Taehyung.

“I hid in a bush for four hours for this,” Yoongi griped, Jimin’s deft hands untangling leaves out of his hair. “You all are leeches.”

“I got grass stains on my coat,” Namjoon said sadly, brightening up as Jaebum replayed the moment Hoseok took Yugyeom’s hand. “Adorable. Totally worth it.”

They were all crouched behind a rock, and they were all definitely going to regret their stalkerish tendencies when Hoseok and Yugyeom team up to beat them up, but right now, it was blissful as they all reveled in Yugyeom and Hoseok’s newly blossomed relationship.

-

Two days later, Yugyeom and Hoseok got their revenge when Jackson severely miscalculated the distance from the steps of his lecture hall to the sidewalk, and ended up face-planting straight in front of someone with a concrete-muffled oof.

Jinyoung let out a loud snort when he heard the news. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s Jackson’s longtime crush Mark Tuan he just fell head over heels for.”

“Here we go again,” Yoongi mumbled, rubbing his temples.

-

_Four months later_

“Leave room for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” Taehyung hollered in Jackson and Mark’s faces. “Y’all cute, but take it outside, my teeth are rotting.”

“Three days,” Jackson sighed. “It’s been. Three. Days. Since. I. Asked. Mark. Out.”

“And you’re already grosser than YugSeok were after their first time… together,” Jin chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows. “I heard they did it in the dance studio in front of the mirror.”

“I heard they did it in Sejin’s classroom,” Jaebum chimed in.

“I heard Hobi brought out the handcuffs,” Yoongi said, gleefully throwing his quasi-platonic soulmate to the wolves.

“I hear a group of useless voyeuristic crow tits who call themselves my friends,” Hoseok sang, waltzing past the counter with Yugyeom in tow. “Later, bitches. I’m spending my lunch break with the cutest boy in Seoul.”

“You mean Jimin,” Yoongi said.

“Actually, it’s Taehyung,” Jungkook said.

“It’s obviously Namjoon,” Jin said.

“No, it’s Jinyoung,” Jaebum said.

The resulting war was loud enough for Jin to kick them all out after twenty minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my BTS Gang AU [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373050/chapters/46094857)!


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got a couple of DMs on Instagram asking me how Joon and Jin met, so I pumped out a 4k crack scene for you! Taehyung and Jimin make very brief appearances, and Jungkook isn't in here at all because this is a prequel to even before Namjoon was out of college.
> 
> Yakgwa is a honey-cinnamon Korean treat. H-Mart stocks them, and they are particularly good around Christmastime.

_Crabs, an almost ubiquitous part of the ocean (over 4,500 species known), are quite essential in understanding ocean biology. For one, their “exoskeleton,” similar to-_

“Namjoon!”  
A spray of cookie crumbs erupted over Namjoon’s beloved _Encyclopedia of Crabs_. The college professor let out a high screech and frantically swatted at the pages of his book. “Not the crabs!”

Taehyung had the grace to look slightly shamed and hide the cookie behind his back, but not enough to just shrug and sit down across from Namjoon. “Professor JYP gave us all an essay to write about our heroes and one interesting fact about them.”

“So you’re writing about… me,” Namjoon said.

“Yes,” Taehyung said, hopeful smile on his face.

Namjoon turned away for a second while he reached for a tissue.

“Oh no, are you _crying right now?”_

“I feel like a proud father right now,” Namjoon blubbered. “Come here and give me a hug.”

“Noooooooo!”

-

“Get out of my bakery,” Jin scolded, batting a cackling Jungkook and Yugyeom away from the dessert display case. “Fogging up my glass like it’s your house.”

“This is our house, Mom,” Jungkook whined, flopping down in a chair. “So about that essay-”

“Sure, sure,” he mumbled, wiping down the counter. “Whatever.”

“Are you just saying okay to get us out?” Yugyeom asked.

“Am I that obvious?” Jin sighed, waving his hands. “Shoo. I’ll talk to you while I’m cleaning up outside.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” Jungkook said decisively, bounding out of the bakery with Yugyeom hot on his heels.

“Evil maknaes,” Jin growled, wringing the washcloth out and wishing it was a neck.

-

“Yoongles!” Jimin squealed, seating himself across from Yoongi in the studio, against a wall plastered with hundreds of photos of them together and a shelf with seven full-blooming succulents.  
Yoongi pulled off his headphones to smile at Jimin. “Any particular reason you came to see me, sunshine?”

“I’m writing an essay on my hero,” Jimin started. “And…”

Yoongi blushed hotly. “...Go on.”

“I was planning on writing about our parents, Namjoon and Seokjin!”

“Oh,” Yoongi said, nodding to cover his slightly disappointed expression.  
Jimin burst out laughing. “No! I’m writing about the best boyfriend in the world, otherwise known as Min Yoongi.”

“Hold on, don’t you already know everything about me?”

“Hmm, I guess I do,” Jimin said, biting his lip. “Well, are there any stories from before I came to Bighit?”

Yoongi span around in his chair for a minute, gazing at the succulents above Jimin’s head.

“...How about I tell you about how Namjoon and Seokjin met?”

-

Namjoon and Seokjin’s relationship started with a bang.

-

_Eleven years earlier_

Namjoon 

“Jesus christ!” Namjoon shouts, jumping up from his chair and sending his glasses flying to the floor by his shoe. The book slammed down in front of his suddenly shit vision doesn’t waver, and neither does the blurry man holding it.

“It’s midnight,” the guy says in a voice that honestly has no business being that pretty, even if Namjoon can’t even see the rest of him. “Get out of my library. Health is more important than…”  
He strains his neck to look at Namjoon’s laptop. “A dissertation on crab anatomy.”

“Your library?” Namjoon fires back. Hey, he’s tired, he’s petty, and he feels and most likely looks like shit right now. This guy, although he can’t even see him, is only fanning his ire. “I don’t recall seeing your name on it.”

The blurry man inhales, turns, and quietly counts to ten before whirling around and slamming Namjoon’s laptop shut and leaning away just far enough so that Namjoon still can’t see him to squint at him.

“Get out and go. To. Sleep. We’re closing in thirty minutes. Also, you look like a bag of rats.”

Namjoon’s hands flap uselessly as he stares at the wavering form of the guy walking away. He’s all prepared to dramatically storm out of the library right there-his bag is even slung over his shoulder- when he remembers he can’t actually see (college all-nighters do that to you) and he has to double back at the doors to do the classic all-fours hunt on the ground.

His knee is coming down on the ground when he hears a loud crunch, followed by the sensation of wire cutting into his sweatpant’s knee.

Namjoon lets out an even longer sigh, holding up-just as he suspected-his mangled glasses frames.  
The worst part of it is, he can hear a windshield-wiper laugh and he’s pretty sure it’s Book Slammer Dude.

-

His douche of a roommate cackles when Namjoon stumbles through the door. “You look like a bag of rats.”

Namjoon flips him off before stumbling in the bathroom and leaning comically close to his reflection.

Well, he’s not wrong.

-

Jin 

Jin doesn’t see Rat Guy again. He must usually come in during afternoons.

“He had the potential,” he says to one of his coworkers, some high schooler who’s only in it for service hours. “If he’d combed back his onion hair… and replaced his frames because he was literally wearing 80s aviator frames… and burned his baggy 00’s jeans… and cleaned up those eyebags and eye boogers… maybe, _maybe_ , he would have had the potential to be slightly average.”

“So you think he could be pretty?” the high schooler says, looking engrossed. His name-tag says Hoseok.

“Nah,” Jin says dismissively, and he means it. That guy can rot in hell.

-

“It wasn’t love at first sight?” Jungkook gasped. Yugyeom looked equally as scandalized.

“Hated that guy.” Jin says. “Who reads a textbook on crabs? By choice?”

-

“This is a K-drama come to life,” Taehyung cooed, cupping his face in his hands.

“Eeehhh… sure, Tae. If that’s what you want to call it.”

-

Namjoon 

The next day, Douche Roommate doesn’t wake Namjoon up until he has fifteen minutes to de-caveman and get to his first class, and when he does, he just kicks Namjoon in the face.

“Ow,” Namjoon bleats from the floor. His clothes are inexplicably folded in neat stacks on his desk. He doesn’t remember doing the laundry last night.  
Huh.

“Wake up,” Douche Roomate intones dryly, looking down at Namjoon with absolutely no sympathy. “You’re already late.”

“Shit fuck shit shit fuck,” Namjoon groans, looking at his Ryan clock and scrambling to take the first pair of clean clothes off the laundry. “Where are my glasses?”

Douche Roommate rolls his eyes and walks out of the room without a goodbye.

-

Jin 

“I may have found Rat Guy’s Bighit social,” Hoseok says, showing his phone to Jin. Jin, reading the book Rat Guy had been so engrossed in-easily the most soul-crushing and heaviest book in the library, _Encyclopedia of Crabs_ -doesn’t look up. “Can you believe Rat Bag was reading a passage on crabs’ thoraxes for two hours?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Hoseok shrugs, tapping his screen. “He has 5,000 followers. All of who are hardcore crab enthusiasts slash teenage girls.”

“Teenage girls?” Jin repeats.

“Hey! Get your own phone out,” Hoseok whines, holding it away from Jin. “Yeah. Crazy freshman girls. And many more thirsty boys, who say he looks, quote, like a whole zaddy.”

“Ha,” Jin snorts loudly enough to attract a dirty look from a patron. “Zaddy, my ass.” He solemnly swears never to look at Rat Bag’s Bighit board.

“Normally I’d disagree, but that man looked like he’d been through hell,” Hoseok comments. “I wonder when he’ll come back.”

-

Namjoon 

The answer is never, according to Namjoon.

“I made a complete fool out of myself,” he groans into the phone. His mother clucks in the way that only mothers can, before offering some empty words of encouragement and a “stay strong, Joon-ah, college can’t be horrible for four whole years!”

 _Bet,_ Namjoon thinks miserably, flopping back down on his bed. The curtains are thrown wide open to let in the sun on seven tiny succulents, three sprouting tiny flowers. The other four stubbornly refuse to bloom, no matter how much Namjoon cajoles them.

He falls asleep after a while, sulking while hugging his pillow close to him. When he wakes up, there’s a plate of food and no explanation on his desk, still hot. And his douche roommate is nowhere to be seen. Where does he go during the day, anyway?

-

“I went to the music studio after cooking for him,” Yoongi explained, steepling his fingers below his chin. “Namjoon was just oblivious. Anyway, I went to the library and peeked in every day because I was curious why he wasn’t going back anymore, and when I saw a model-looking guy looking out the window like he was waiting for someone, I had my answer.”

-

Midterms pass in a week of hell, during which Namjoon stumbles into his dorm looking, if possible, progressively worse than the day before. The thick backup glasses he wears when he’s too tired to put in contacts aren’t helping his self-esteem much.  
His mysterious friend somehow manages to keep the room from looking like trash, while taking care of Namjoon with plates of food and watering his succulents when he forgets.

“I just don’t see who it could be,” he waxes to Douche Roommate, who pointedly has on over-ear headphones and is tapping out something on his laptop. “Maybe it’s a secret admirer. I have some fans on Instagram.”

Douche Roommate snaps his gum and lets out a puff of spearmint flavored air. “I don’t want to have to kick you in the face again, Kim Namjoon.”

“...Seriously, what’s your name? I can’t call you Douche Roommate forever.”

Douche Roommate sighs long and loud, then slips his headphones down around his neck. “Min Yoongi.”

“What?”

“Min Yoongi. That’s my name.”

Well, it’s progress.

-

Namjoon floats out of his last test not caring about how shitty he looks right now, only that he’s _finally_ fucking done, fuck college, fuck friends, fuck Library Guy and his honey voice, fuck the world, he’s finished midterms.

“You seem happy,” Min Yoongi says nonchalantly, feet propped up on his desk and laptop, like always, in his hands.

“Midterms are over. I could kiss you right now!” Namjoon sings ecstatically, dancing around their room. Min Yoongi stares at him flatly.

“What did you have to do for your midterm, anyway?”

“I’m in music production. I took maybe two exams, then bullshit my way through sight reading and pulled one of my old tracks for my final,” Min Yoongi explains, shrugging. “You want to listen?”

Namjoon, as someone who owns a launchpad and knows his way around Cubase fairly well, thinks _what the hell_ and slips the offered headphones around his ears.

Yoongi navigates to a track titled “Seesaw_DEMO1” and presses play.

-

Three days later, his mysterious friend leaves a pair of headphones out for Namjoon. They’re the good brand too, open back and noise-cancelling. Someone paid a pretty penny for them. Namjoon, unsure about how to thank them, simply wears them around Bighit’s campus as often as he can.

Yoongi hangs out with him more frequently, cold exterior slowly peeling back the longer he spends with Namjoon. Yoongi isn’t excited about a lot of things (exercise, talking, moving in general) but the things he’s passionate about he can talk about for years (naps, music, cute boys). They’re sitting outside a struggling restaurant on Bighit when Yoongi casually brings up Library Guy.

“Why haven’t you gone back?”

“I’m embarrassed,” Namjoon grumbles, stirring his drink around. “I went in there and was the epitome of Bad Customer, tripped over myself in front of him and crushed my glasses, not to mention how I looked.”

“Weren’t you wearing sweatpants, Crocs and a hoodie that said _CRABS, NOT PUBIC LICE? _”__

__“Exactly. How can I face him knowing he saw me like… that?”_ _

__“Let’s go, up,” Yoongi says brusquely, tugging Namjoon up. “You’re getting changed into your best outfit and we’re going to go study whatever you like. Crabs, calculus, the void, whatever. Also, you’re paying.”_ _

__“Are you kidding? I’m broke,” Namjoon whines, staring mournfully inside his sparse wallet._ _

__“I’m more broke,” Yoongi says challengingly. “Especially with those headphones I got you.”_ _

__Namjoon pouts, but dutifully pays. They’re walking out together when he slowly turns to Yoongi._ _

__“You, the _douche roommate_ , were the one who was folding my laundry and watering my plants and got me these headphones?”_ _

__Yoongi’s eyes widen. “...No?”_ _

_-_

__

__

Bighit campus was treated to the rare sight of a long-limbed student chasing a tiny and angry cat-human student, yelling “ _Accept my affection, you dirt clod stop running._ ” The tiny angry cat was yelling “ _Don’t thank me don’t hug me don’t hug me-why are you hugging me-_ ” 

__-_ _

__“Super romantic,” Taehyung said. “K-Drama material.”_ _

__“It was not. I only went back to the library because Yoongi convinced me that was how I could pay him back.”_ _

__-_ _

___Jin_ _ _

__“Suck my dick,” Jin hisses after the woman that screamed at him for having to return her book finally left after Hoseok calmly explained the concept of a library._ _

__“I’m the secondary friend lead in this drama between you and Rat Guy,” Hoseok says, doodling on a legal pad and waiting for his shift to end. “Obviously, I’m played by Park Bogum, that beautiful hunk.”_ _

__“Who plays me?”_ _

__“Kim Seokjin. Sex on a stick, can sing, _and_ he’s the visual slash mood maker of BTS. Wow. Full package right there,” Hoseok sighs dreamily, packing up his bag and ducking under the desk._ _

__“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jin says tearfully. “Seriously, I’d kill to be as handsome as that guy.”_ _

__“...Or these guys, just saying," Hoseok whisper-yells by the door as he's leaving, pointing towards two students who had just walked in. One of them is dressed in all black and the only part of skin that can be seen are his white hands. The other is in a white t-shirt and jeans, currently arguing quietly with his vampire friend. His hair color looks sort of familiar, but Jin doesn’t have time to prepare himself before they’re looking up and White Shirt Hunk meets his eyes._ _

__-_ _

__“Cue romantic music,” Jungkook said._ _

__-_ _

__“You!” Jin screeches, pointing an accusing finger. “You’re the bag of rats!”_ _

__“Well,” Vampire Guy says. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a reputation, Joon.”_ _

__-_ _

__“... Cue anime fight music,” Jungkook said._ _

__-_ _

__Jin can’t really talk at the moment, seeing as his jaw is hanging on the library front desk. His brain is far away in euphoria with White Shirt Guy, who is apparently really really hot and-  
oh fuck, are those dimples?_ _

__“You’re book slammer librarian!” White Shirt Guy says, pointing Accusing Finger #2 at Jin._ _

__“You two are hopeless,” Vampire growls, putting his head in his hands._ _

__Not having much else to say to each other, Jin and Namjoon let their hands fall awkwardly back to their sides, then look at each other for a moment. Awkwardly._ _

__-_ _

__“What were you thinking about?”_ _

__“How gay I was.”_ _

__“I see,” Taehyung said seriously, jotting down more notes on his laptop._ _

__-_ _

__“... so this is where you two have an actual conversation, become boyfriends, and flaunt your relationship in front of all us sad singles,” Vampire says. “Yes?”_ _

__“Yes. Right,” Jin says sheepishly, ducking under the desk and pulling off his lanyard. “Would you like to have an actual conversation?”_ _

__“I’d love that,” Namjoon says, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling._ _

__Oh fuck, those dimples. Attacking Jin every time._ _

__-_ _

____Namjoon__ _ _

__That night, Namjoon comes home after a hefty conversation and (flirting?) with Jin to find another succulent is in bloom, with bright sunny petals open towards the light._ _

__“I wonder when the last three will open up,” Yoongi says, blearily rubbing his eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well lately, what with the small gig he just got for an indie video game called Wings. He’s investing all his effort in production because he’s Yoongi, but also because the parent company of the project is the same company that’s producing the rumored movie _Euphoria_ , and he might be able to feature Seesaw in there. Not that he's ever telling Namjoon any of that until the actual movie comes out, because he's annoyingly self-sacrificing Yoongi. _ _

__

__“I guess we’ll have to wait. They’ll come to us in time,” Namjoon says peacefully, hugging his Ryan plushie close to him._ _

__“When did you get this zen about everything? ...are you high?”_ _

__“Maybe I’m just happy,” Namjoon says defensively._ _

__“And maybe you’re actually over the moon from your date with Jin.”_ _

__“Not a date.”_ _

__“Date.”_ _

__“Not a date.”_ _

__“Date.”_ _

__“Not a date.”_ _

__“Not a date.”_ _

__“Date-damn it, Yoongi.”_ _

__Yoongi shrugs in the way that only someone who doesn’t care can. “Just saying.”_ _

__“Maybe it was a date,” Namjoon concedes, face planting on his bed. “Why am I complaining to my perpetually single grumpy cat friend? Why are _you_ still single? Let’s talk about that.”_ _

__“Fine, I’ll drop it. You’re still not off the hook, though,” Yoongi threatens._ _

__-_ _

__Twenty dates later, Jin is pouting at the receptionist desk over a large bunch of pale roses-his favorite flower, delivered with a note from Namjoon. “Is it because I don’t moisturize?”_ _

__“I think it’s because he’s a notorious gentleman. You just get that vibe, based on his Bighit posts,” his very patient female coworker, Joy says._ _

__“Of course I know that. I’ve gone through his feed fifty-six times. He’s a fucking monk when it comes to making out. He hasn’t initiated a kiss. Not even once.”_ _

__“What happened to swearing to never go on Rat Bag’s Bighit board?”_ _

__“Rat Bag became a zaddy, that’s what.”_ _

__"Please never call anyone a zaddy again.”_ _

__“I’m one of the hip youths, Joy. You can’t stop me.”_ _

__-_ _

__“He said that?” Jimin said incredulously._ _

__“He did,” Yoongi verified. “I don’t know how Joy didn't drop-kick him on the spot.”_ _

__-_ _

___Jin_ _ _

__The weather grows colder over the next couple of weeks as the Christmas season approaches, and Jin tries everything. He tries to subtly drop hints during movies, (“wow, that couple sure is setting an example, huh?”), during conversation, (“have you ever heard of a band called “Get Over Yourself and Kiss Me Already?”), during dinner (“gee, look at this ice cream conveniently smeared on my upper lip,” which resulted in cliche K-drama moment #57 of Namjoon reaching out to wipe it and rendering Jin a Speechless Gay for the rest of their date). No kiss on the lips. It’s surely not his lips that’s stopping Namjoon (Jin was literally voted “Best Lips” in high school), or his ego (bigger than the sun, but Namjoon always says that’s his biggest charm)._ _

__He tells all of this to Yoongi, who nods along and looks utterly disinterested in Jin’s love life by the end of it. “The way I see it, it’s not that hard. You’re expecting Namjoon to kiss you, right?”_ _

__“He won’t.”_ _

__“That’s right, he won’t,” Yoongi acquiesces. “Because he wants you to kiss him first.”_ _

__“...Huh?”_ _

__“He wants you to kiss him first,” Yoongi explains slowly, “for the romanticness of it all, and, more than that, because he’s big on consent and never making anyone do anything they don’t want to do.”_ _

__Jin ponders over that for a moment. Maybe Namjoon’s motives are a little sweeter than he thought.  
But he’s getting that kiss, even if he has to sacrifice his dignity for it._ _

__-_ _

__Christmas comes. Jin is bouncing on the steps of Namjoon’s dorm, the door festively decked out in holly-red branches (Namjoon) and tiny black skulls (Yoongi). His present is steaming in his hands, and he’s holding his face near it to keep warm._ _

__“Merry holidays,” Yoongi deadpans, opening the door. “And other assorted season-appropriate greetings.”_ _

__“You’re doing amazing, Yoongs,” Jin says cheerily. Nothing can bog him down right now, not on his first christmas with his boyfriend._ _

__“Jinnie!” Namjoon says happily, wrapping himself like a gangly tree around Jin’s middle. “Are those some of your yakgwa?”_ _

__“Duh, I know how much you love them,” Jin sniffs. “I’m just the best boyfriend ever.”_ _

__“Certainly better than my man Yoongs,” Namjoon snickers, throwing an arm around Yoongi. Yoongi shoots him a look of pure betrayal._ _

__Christmas passes with the three of them playing Monopoly (Namjoon dominates), Twister (Yoongi, as the self-proclaimed stiff old man of the group, spins), and at one point, opening snack bags with their feet (Jin possesses a freakish ability to do it within two seconds). Jin barricades the kitchen against Namjoon and cooks dinner, they stuff themselves silly, and then eat yakgwa while coming up with increasingly stupid nicknames for Yoongi. They dance to BTS and try fruitlessly to learn the choreography, presents are exchanged. Yoongi gives Namjoon a trash can (“it’s your spirit animal”), Namjoon gives Yoongi a plastic ruler (“it’s taller than you, Minnie Mouse!”)._ _

__Yoongi announces his turning in at ten o’ clock, which prompts Jin and Namjoon to tease him for another twenty minutes about how old he actually is. Finally, Jin is resting his head in Namjoon’s lap and staring at the fire, both of them under a large fluffy quilt embroidered with the words NAMJIN (Yoongi's gift to Jin)._ _

__“I actually wanted to give you your present in private,” Namjoon whispers, slipping his hand from Jin’s to pull an envelope from between the couch cushions. “I thought about it, and I know the library has really been struggling, especially with the campus bookstore that opened up. And you’re not getting paid much right now. So I took a couple of part-time jobs, and,” here he hands the envelope to Jin, “saved up. Open it.”_ _

__Jin’s smile could split his face in half, even as tears start running down. “Namjoon… this is so much. How did you balance everything?”_ _

__“I just thought of you, of course,” Namjoon says, cupping Jin’s face and wiping the tears away. “...Do you like it?”_ _

__“Namjoon, this is enough to start a new business,” Jin blubbers, attacking Namjoon with a hug. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”_ _

__“Shhh,” Namjoon whispers, drawing him closer and planting a light kiss on Jin’s head. “This is enough.”_ _

__Jin, cradled in Namjoon’s arms, suddenly remembers his promise to himself. “Actually, there is one more thing I want.”_ _

__“Hm?”_ _

__“Just stay still,” Jin whispers, leaning closer and closer until his lips finally meet Namjoon’s in a sweet kiss.  
It’s not at all how he imagined-salty with his tears, sweet with the yakgwa on their breath, but infinitely better. Judging from the soppy smile on Namjoon’s face, he feels the same._ _

__Yoongi, unnoticed, watches the couple from the doorway, that rare genuine smile on his lips._ _

__-_ _

___Namjoon_ _ _

__Jin may have had the first kiss, but it’s Namjoon who teaches him how to invest his money, to balance his work and friends, Jin teaching Namjoon how to not kill himself in the kitchen, force-feeding Yoongi, who’s feverishly working on refining Seesaw, and a roughly-hewn soundtrack named Serendipity. Time, tests and years passes by in a blur, and suddenly-_ _

__Jin is walking down the aisle with his classmates, sticking his tongue out at Namjoon and Yoongi as he passes._ _

__Then it’s Yoongi, flipping everybody off as he walks and sending a heart to Namjoon and Jin, the proud owner of Bighit’s newly-opened bakery._ _

__Then Namjoon, who’s honored with valectidorian, biting his proud smile back as he’s praised by each of his professors, trying to tune out a screeching Jin and Yoongi in the audience. Hoseok is newly employed as a freshman, finally getting paid by Jin, who's not very happy about losing free labor._ _

__Namjoon screaming and hugging Bighit’s job offer to his chest, swaying with Jin in their apartment while they hunt for houses by the weekend, having dinner with their happy third-wheel Yoongi on Saturdays._ _

__A quiet wedding in their backyard, with plenty of cake and sex, just as it should be. Yoongi is the obnoxious wedding photographer, and manages to catch a shot of Namjoon dirty dancing drunk, something Namjoon vehemently denies to the present._ _

__One morning, Namjoon is cleaning out his desk before class starts with his headphones around his neck while name-tagged freshmen are milling around and finding seats. Having already donated his seemingly immortal succulents to Yoongi’s new studio Genius Lab, he’s just preparing for a new wave of freshmen.  
He picks up the textbook that started it all with a grain of nostalgia, purchased from the library forever as a memory._ _

__He might have stayed there looking at it forever-_ _

__-had a block of, strangely enough, Jell-O not suddenly come splatting down right on top of page 400, leaving a red trail on top of a diagram of the crab’s internal organs.  
He heaves a sigh, then throws a stink eye at the crowd of suddenly-silent freshmen._ _

__“Who threw that?”_ _

__Two freshmen, Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin according to their name tags, slowly point at each other at the same time._ _

__-_ _

__Across campus, Yoongi raises his eyebrows at the freshly blooming flowers on two of the succulents._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ This reader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreedomReader/pseuds/FreedomReader) pointed out that Hoseok wasn't supposed to know that Namjoon and Jin were married (referring to an earlier posted version of this chapter, and they are totally right, apologies,, it's all fixed now ㅠㅠ
> 
> (Also referring to that mistake, Hoseok doesn't recognize Namjoon the next time he sees him because Namjoon really just looked that uglee during midterms)
> 
> If you didn't notice, Yoongi never finished Serendipity, because he lacked inspiration (Jimin). Refer back to Chapter 3 for more information.
> 
> I love this universe, and I am very proud of the details I've created in it. Please let me know what you think, or leave a kudos!


End file.
